Wednesday, September 13, 2006

***Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handy***

Sometimes, I think that I would be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

If you ever catch on fire try to avoid looking in the mirror, because I bet that would really throw you into a panic.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he gets a good, lucky feeling.

It takes abig man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

I think in one of my past lives, I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.

I saw on this nature show the male elk douses himself in urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

13 comments:

CindyDianne said...

It's apparently a day for deep thoughts and sage advice!

I liked the "it takes an even bigger man to laugh at him" one. Ha ha ha!

Thanks Biddie!

Biddie said...

I love Jack Handy. He is such a jerk,and says things that I could NEVER say to most people....

Heidi the Hick said...

I missed ol Jack!

Do you remember "My Big Fat Novel"?

(I wrote that on the 3 ring binder in which I keep my first completed novel...)

gawilli said...

"I think in one of my past lives, I was a mighty king (queen), because I like people to do what I say." Boy, I can relate to this one. Oops.

Biddie said...

Heidi - I miss Jack, too...

gawilli - That was one of my fav's, too, mostly because I can relate..

Liz said...

I actually have all of Jack's books. They are basically just complilations of those skits. But still hold up after repeated readings. It's a great bathroom book, if you're the kind of person who reads in the bathroom.

Liz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Biddie said...

nonny - I absolutely read in the bathroom! where else do you get any privacy? I didn't know that he had his own books. They would make a great Christmas gift.

Dead man walking said...

I love the one where he is talking about how everyone would laugh when grandpa would say he was going to town looking for a woman, but no one was laughing when he brought home a cheap hooker!

Biddie said...

jj - I will. I might have a photo of Poodle somewhere ( yes, that was her name ) mugging for the camera.

Shane - Isn't Jack Handey the best? I never heard the hooker one before..

FOUR DINNERS said...

I deny being an elk

Pioneer Woman said...

My favorite was, "When I was a boy, I asked my dad, 'Dad, why is it raining?' My dad replied, 'Because God is crying'. I asked, 'Why is God crying?'. He answered, 'Probably because of something you did.'"

Harsh!

Biddie said...

Hi, ree! Thanks for stopping by! That quote is one of my favourites, too.