Confessions Of A Self Proclaimed Celebrity Stalker

My kids call me a stalker. I prefer the term tracker, or maybe pursuer. Or, maybe I am a celebrity shadow.
Yeah, I like that one. I am a shadow.
I am have no celebrity affiliations. None.
Unlike my BFF's Heidi and Jethro, or my blog buddy, Rick Rockhill, I don't regularly hobnob with the rich or famous.



I do, however, frequent events like The Sci Fi Con, and Soap Opera conventions.

Christina Schmidt

Once, I even met Christina Schmidt from Degrassi: The Next Generation at a Tim Horton's. Of course I was in my pj pants at the time. It was well after midnight when KC, Kayla and I decided to post flyer's for our garage sale the next morning.



She was incredibly gracious and sweet. She sat at our table and spent a couple of minutes chatting with the girls. Well, not so much the girls. Kayla was stunned into silence and as Christina was signing an autograph for her...When asked how to spell her name, Kayla replied.


'K..........."

Last night was no exception to my celebrity stalk - er - shadowing. Jabbawockeez were the special guests at the New Kids On The Block concert in London. Shawn, KC, Spencer and I all went, and poor Jessica, the Jabbawockeez biggest fan got stuck at home. I thought that I would take some photos for her and make her happy....
When Shawn and I saw the T shirts for $40, we almost didn't buy her one. I mean, forty freaking bucks?? That was pretty much all that I had in my wallet...Jessica never gets any concert t's though, and is usually left behind when any of us head off for a concert venue. We decided to bite the big one and get her a t.
Then, to our complete astonishment, we saw the dance crew sitting at a long table, surrounded by security and handlers, signing autographs! Whoo hoo! We high tailed it to the table, only to see the staff herding the dance crew off to whoknowswhere. Undeterred, we asked security if we could get the Jabbawockeez to sing our girl's t. No luck. We were directed to one person, then another, until I thought - 'screw it.'
I went to the Jabbawockeez themselves, past security and staff, and pleaded my case. They not only signed the t, but they offered to pose for photos (no thanks, I didn't want to be in one, I just wanted to be the photog) and paused to shake our hands!
I was so pumped that I could hardly catch my breath. I mean, these are just cool dancers to me, but to Jessica, they are...the epitome of celebrity and stardom. To a 14 year old girl, they are gods among men.
Meeting the Jabbawockeez was different than meeting Henry Winkler, or Kelly Ripa, or even my fav soap opera character. This was better, this surpassed anything or anyone ever before..This was for my Jessica.
































The rest of the night was beyond amazing, too. KC and I had soo much fun. We laughed so hard that my sides hurt.
At the end of the evening, when we searching for a bootleg t for Kayla, we passed the area where the tour buses were parked. The screaming built to a deafening crescendo, and at that point, we were struck by the mob mentality...We got sucked in. I mean, what if NKOTB were at the buses, right now?

She and I sprinted into a run, each going a different way. KC bolted past Shawn, pushing him hard into a bush as she went. We met up at the fence, only to see Jabbawockeez fleeing the crazed women and escaping into a van.

Sigh....So close, yet so far.

Maybe next time, The New Kids won't be so lucky.

I hear that they are coming back in June.

Good Bye, Mia

Mia is leaving today. I knew that this day was coming, but it snuck up on me just the same.

I am already missing her.

We took the pups to see the vet yesterday for their first check up. The doc was pleasantly surprised that all of the puppies survived after the close call that we had with Ruby and the fact that we started bottle feeding at two weeks old. In fact, these pups are the healthiest pups that the vet has seen in a long time! Yay us! It all paid off in a big way - the sleepless night, the expensive baby food, the vet bills. We had five healthy puppies! Bruno found a home. It is, my humble opinion, one of the best homes ever.. He is staying right here! We just couldn't bear to part with him.

Mia will go to her new home of Friday and honestly, I am going to miss her like you would not believe! We had Chloe here yesterday (she went to the vet with her siblings) and Ruby was beside herself with happiness. Poor Chloe (now named Darby) was covered in Ruby slobber the whole time that she was here. She played with her sisters and brother like old times. They will be visiting each other again - it's one of the benefits of having Shawn's sisters adopt the doggies.

Look how big Bruno is now! He is a whopping 3.63 pounds, almost half of Ruby's weight already! She weighs in at 8 pounds.

Sigh....

isn't life beautiful?

The puppies will 8 weeks old tomorrow and are almost ready for their new homes. This has been such an emotional journey...I doubt that we will ever do this again. No more puppies for us!
I knew going in to this that we would finding new homes for the pups. I was - I am ok with that. What I wasn't prepared for was the heartache that would come with it....
It looks as though three of the pups have found homes. Mia, Chloe, and Bella have found new moms and that is part of the problem. I thought that Bella was going to stay with us. That was the plan. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way.

I went out for groceries on Saturday and when I came home, she was gone. To say that we (the girls) are heartbroken would be an understatement.
A family member took her for a visit, and now refuses to bring her home. She wants to adopt Bella.
I know that this person will give Bella a great home. I know that..What pisses me off is that she refuses to even bring the dog to the house again and Bella is the runt. She needs her mommy for a few more days at least, and I never had the chance to say good bye. Nobody did.
Oh, and we haven't been paid yet, either.

Bruno still needs a home. He is getting so attached to me - and me to him - that I just want him to find his new family - NOW. Still, these things really can't be rushed. It has to be the perfect family.
KC had a friend come out to see the pups last week and her kid was, umm, let's see, I'm trying to be nice here...An asshat. This friend came out to see Mia, knowing full well that she was spoken for and we made no promises to her about any of the other dogs. Of course, he obnoxious 10 year son (please remember, he is 10) came barreling out of the van, and from the instant that I saw him, he rubbed me the wrong way. It could have been the way that he mauled the tiny pup, squeezing her so hard that she couldn't squirm away, or the way that he wrapped her up in his vest and rolled on the frozen lawn with her..It could have been the way that he did a rolling throw and tossed the dog like a bowling ball.
Yes, you read that right. A ten year old kid. HE THREW MY DOG.
The mom was there for all of it, and her response was this...(whispering)..'Kyle.....'
No, for real. That was all that she said.
Then, after they left, I found out that she wants to buy the dog, and keep him at a friends house until mid June, when they move into their new house.
WTF?
Are you kidding me? WHO in their right mind, would sell them a dog?
Not I.
So, this lady lays a guilt trip on Kristy about the dog...
"Can't you see how attached Kyle was to the dog?"
and
"He won't understand."
Look, if your kid, at ten, can't understand that a dog was sold to the person that it was promised to, if he gets that emotional about every dog that he sees, then you have much bigger problems.

Mia's new family, on the other hand, is great. They have been here twice to visit with her and the boys (11 and 13) are age appropriate with the pups. I have no worries about her. I am going to miss her like mad, though. She is such a little firecracker!

Bella

Yesterday, Shawn, Kayla, Jessica and I went to visit his brother in law and two nephews. In about three weeks it will be the year anniversary of his sisters death.

I can hardly believe that Mary has been gone nearly a year.

The grief in that house, the feeling of sadness, was beyond overwhelming. Flowers from the funeral home were still sitting in the dining room, dried up and untouched since they were placed there nearly a year ago.

I am reminded, once again, that life is all too short and much to precious to be squandered and wasted.

Why does it always take a tragedy to bring us to our senses?

Jessica has an appointment with her specialist today. In two hours, actaully. I guess that I best get moving. I have no reason to think that she is anything other then fine, but I get nervous just the same.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

The Cure-Friday I'm In Love

Hey, it's Friday and I'm love!
Yes, with Shawn :)

Mia's new family is coming to meet her tomorrow! I am both excited and saddened by the prospect....I am going to miss these little dogs so much.

Hinder, Theory Of A Dead Man and The Crue

Last night was The Big Night. KC, Spencer, Shawn and I all took a tour to Hamilton and Copps Coliseum to see Motley Crue. The fist act was Hinder...I thought that I hated them, but as it turns out, they rock! I'm not sure about the lead singers personal Axl Rose/Davey Jones/Mick Jagger swagger, but the music was stupendous. Truly.

Theory Of A Dead Man came on next. Hmm. To me, they sound an awful lot like Nickleback. I keep waiting for my 'Rock star' song, and then I remembered - oh, yeah...These are the Santa Monica guys. I actually really like that song, but I have to be honest, I was happy as hell when they ended their set.

Motley Crue came out to the ass kicking Kick Start My Heart. The first few songs seemed to just flow into one another - seamlessly. It was nothing short of magnificent. Breath taking.

Sigh.

It was - The Crue!

Part way through the set, Tommy Lee (I say Tommy, you say Lee!) sat on the edge of the stage for a little q&a session. Of sorts.

He told us that he was horny as hell and asked if we all were, too.

(Ah, these mother daughters moments that I will never forget. Sniff)

He shared his jagermeister with the audience (ewww) and declared the city of Hamilton was now SLAMilton, cuz, he was, horny.

Tommy thanked us all for sharing our bitches with him (umm, you're welcome, I think??) and called us all MotherF#$%ers so many times that I lost count.

Vince Neil was - well, he was Vince Neil. He was incredible.

I was slightly shocked at the porn that was playing the screens. I mean, yeah, this is Motley Crue, but it was, ahem, weird to be sitting there with my daughter on one side of me and a sweet little eight year old boy rocking out on the other side of me while porn flashed on stage.

Mind you, I doubt very much that the boy even noticed the porn. It was his very first concert, he knew ALL of the lyrics to ALL of the songs and he was rocking out. I enjoyed him almost as much as the bands.

Of course, the smoke damn near killed me and today I have no voice at all from all of the coughing that I have been doing. That flu is still hanging on and I feel like...yuck. Still, it was worth it. I would do it all again in a heartbeat...Well, maybe not a heartbeat, but in another 2 weeks or so when we hit London for NKOTB!

Damn Blogger

I have no idea what is happening, but all of my comments are missing! No matter where I comment lately, or on which blog, the comments just - poof - disappear!
Barring a conspiracy, blogger has to be screwing up, yet again!
Either way, I really have not been on much lately. I came down with a nasty flu. Can your brain actually melt when your fever hits 102.5? Let's hope not!
Shawn at the casino

Lola sleeping happily, legs in the air.

Dog pile.

KC turned 21 yesterday and she asked (ordered) me not to post any of the photos. I felt (feel) too miserable to even move, so I still owe her a birthday dinner. Maybe I can do it tomorrow...

The pups are really coming into their own little personalities now. They still run sideways at times, but they can do much more quickly. They tear the house up in minutes and are seemingly fearless. Bumble is afraid of the balloon bouquet - the pups pull it around the livingroom. They are an endless source of entertainment.

Wednesday is our Big Concert night. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am well enough to go. I will be so bummed if I miss Motley Crue. I want to relive my youth, dammit!

I have a mustache

KC, Kayla, and Jessica saw this the other day and nearly passed out from the laughter.....I LOVE it!

Birthday Photos

How cute is Flor with the puppies? Yesterday we had some visitors...Gabriel and three of his kids (There was Juan missing, again) stopped by with a 'Gaby' cake. All that Kayla asked for a Gaby cake and of course, Gaby was kind enough to oblige. She has done this twice for us, and I am so touched.
I wish that I would have taken more photos. I always think about that after...


Kayla got a super cool Batman balloon from Mom Dad.

This is Caro with Bruno and Lola. She feel in love with the puppies, but everyone does right? Isn't that why they call it puppy love?

I had to pinky promise her that she could come over anytime she wanted to play with the babies and Bumble. Bumble is a huge attention hog and would eat that up. A pinky promise is unbreakable, after all.

This is the Gaby cake. I can not even describe it. It has three kinds of milk, apparently. Skim milk. That makes it practically diet, right??? OMG, it was soo moist.

Today is Shawn's birthday. We are waiting for him to get home so that he can open his gifts and we can go to the casino. I have never been gambling before. Well, ok, once, at my brothers stag and doe I put a dollar on that wheel that yo spin, and when I was a kid, I would gamble away my allowance at the fall fair. This is different. This is grown up gambling!

I am pretty broke, which actually works in my favour. I have $20 to blow and then I am done.

If I win big, that will make all that much more exciting.

Ok, I have to get moving. I need to do my hair and make sure that I look good for when the photogs take my winning photo.

Look for me in the paper!

Kayla is 18

Today, my middle baby, Kayla turns 18. Did you hear me? I said EIGHTEEN!
It seems like only yesterday that I brought the bright eyed tyke home from the hospital.
I have so many stories to tell, so many fond memories of her growing into the beautiful young lady that she is today....She is kind, and silly, and always makes me laugh, even when I don't want to.
She is incredible, and beautiful, and everything that I had ever hoped for - and more.
Happy Birthday, Bubbie.
I love you.

There is not much happening here right now. I am kind of on a down swing as far as my mental health is concerned and I just don't feel like doing much of anything.

Still, there are puppies to be fed, watered and played with. They are way more active now and are actually interacting with us. They come running when one of us calls 'puppies' at dinner or playtime. Mind you, so does Bumble. He has been acting out recently - chewing on shoes and peeing on the bathroom floor. I keep reminding myself that he probably has middle child syndrome and this too shall pass.

Speaking of middle child - Kayla turns 18 on Friday.

EIGHTEEN!

This is mind blowing.

Jessica went to see her doctor today and she is weighing in at a whopping 113 lbs. She looks great and is healthier than ever. Maybe it has something to do with her extended grounding and the subsequent family time that she was exposed to? I don't really know and I don't even care, for that matter. She has started hanging out with some different kids at school and the change has been noticeable even in the past couple of weeks.

KC and I watched Blindness on Friday evening. (We were too cheap -errr, broke to hit the theatre). I will just say this - Don't bother. It should have been called Lameness.

Just saying.

Tomorrow Shawn and I are off the OHIP office (the place that issues health cards to all Canadians, the card that allows you free access to health care) to try and get his mess straightened out. We were told that someone else had been issued a card in his name and that they would not be able to issue a card to Shawn.

That is unacceptable to us and tomorrow we are finally going to deal with the problem. Well, this is the government, so we'll see how it all turns out. All I know is that somebody better help us with this.
So, that's it.

Guess I better hit the sack. Ruby has been barking at night for her puppies and it has been well over a week since I have had a decent nights rest. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonight is my night.

Klymaxx - I Miss You

I miss you,
and you know who you are :)

I am sitting here, trying to think of what to write. Oh, I have a ton of crap on my mind, I just can't decide what it is I want to discuss.

The puppies are all fine. I am amazed each and every day at how quickly they are growing and changing. I have five tiny miracles right here in my living room.

Shawn may be back to work on Monday. His bosses are still out of the country, doing God knows what, while their employees are all waiting to work again so that they can do silly little things like, oh, I dunno, pay the rent??? You know, silly things like that.

Nothing much ever changes with Shawn's family. I really thought after we lost his sister last year that things would change with us. With them.

It looked as though things had improved, actually.

Family members were calling me by name, not just her or she. Nope, for the first few months, I heard my name.

Bridget.

Oh, yes, I hate my name, but having any of them call me Biddie doesn't sound right.

That was then.

A month or so ago, one of Shawn's family members called the house looking for Shawn or Brenda.

Brenda???

WTF?

Come one. We have been together for more than 7 years now.

Seven.

I was tempted to over look that.

I DID overlook that.

Then, today, the bullshit started all over again. Shawn's mom said some things to Shawn today that had him beyond upset..Livid, in fact.

It seems that no one in that family can wrap their tiny little minds around the fact that yes, we are a couple. (Couple of what??) Shawn has helped me raise these kids longer than - well, longer than the bio fathers have been around.

I am just about ready to give up. What does it take to get through to these people? What have I done - or not done - to make them treat me like I am less than human?

I don't want it to get to me, but it does.

How can I pretend that something doesn't hurt me when it tears me up inside?

February 15th, 2009. 1 st day eating solid food.

Sleepy little girl, crashed right out in Kayla's hand. (Feb 14 th)

Ok, ok, I promise, I will lay off of the puppy stuff - soon. My life is so wrapped up in puppies right now that there really isn't much else to talk about. They are just beginning to eat solid foods right now, and it is such a relief. Ruby can't feed them anymore - it could kill her - and I am not willing to risk my baby. Shawn has been an incredible nurse for the pups. Kayla has put all of her spare time into mothering and playing with them, too. Even Bumble has helped. He tries to be the mommy dog when nobody is looking.

Valentine's Day was meh. Shawn and I exchanged cards and I took Kayla and Jessica to the movies later in the evening. We wanted to see Coraline, but missed it, so we saw The Uninvited instead. It was creepy,and although I thought that I had it all figured out, there was a bit of a twist at the end. We had a great time, anyway, and that is the most important thing. I feel as though I need to reconnect with my girls, especially Jessica. There have been some issues between us that I really want to work on. Grade 9 can be such a pivotal year, with so many changes and different paths...I worry about my girls. Peer pressure can make or break you sometimes.

Tomorrow is Family Day here in Canada. We are planning on hanging out and playing board games, eating cake ( baked fresh by Kayla) and watching movies. Do you all have

plans for your day off?

Look Who's Walking

Priceless

exam at vets office: $94

I.V. injection: $70

other costs related to vet care: $469

Saving Ruby Tuesday: Priceless

We had a close call tonight...I feel so blessed to have had friends and family step forward to help us save my Ruby dog.

It's going to be a long night - I have 5 little puppies to bottle feed.

Ruby Puppy Photos..

25 Random Things..Copied from facebook

25 Random Things
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Thursday, January 29, 2009 at 11:47pm
Rules:Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
1. I wish that my siblings lived closer..Just Steve and Kelly :)
2. My doggies are like my 'other' kids.
3 .I am closer to my former mother in law than I am to my own mom(s).
4. I have the best friends in the world. It's true, I do.
5. My daughter is named after a sister that I no longer speak to.
6. I HATE to cook. Like, I mean, it makes me wanna cry, I hate it that much.
7. I would be lost without my i pod.
8. My father has been gone for almost 10 years (this July) and the pain is still there.
9. I wish that I was more involved with some of my family.
10. Thinking of the ocean makes me want to cry. It has been too long since I seen, smelled, or touched it.
11. Shawn and I have been together for more than 7 years and (some) of his family still can't remember my name, or the names of my children.
12. I had a crush on Aqua Man when I was a kid.
13. Maybe I still do.
14. I wish that my girls would not have had major health problems. I think about it sometimes and I feel guilty.
15. I seldom drink booze.
16. When I do, I tend to over do it.
17. My family is more important to me than anything in the world.
18. I have a hearing loss in both ears. I used to wear a hearing aid, but everything was too loud. 19. Sometimes, I wish that I had super powers.
20. I am a movie junkie.
21. I truly believe in paying it forward. I pay it forward whenever I can.
22. I can't eat KD without thinking of Heather.
23. I am resentful that both of my ex's have disappeeared from the lives of their children. I wonder if they even think about the pain that they have caused.
24. Divorce has changed my life forever...My parents, and both of mine.
25. I am glad that I finally found Shawn. I wonder why it took so long.....

Some of you have already seen this on my facebook, and I am not going to tag anyone, just play along of you want )

Lookie me, posting video and stuff! These little babies are so adorable and we just can't stop looking at them!

Nothing much happening here. Shawn was laid off - again. Bah. I hate winter for that. Well, I hate winter for lots of reasons, but that is on the top of my list.

Of course, he is home for a couple of days and so are all of the kids. That's just my luck. I would love for Shawn have to have a lay off when we have money and the house to ourselves.

Wait..I think that's called a vacation, right??

KC and I got tickets to see NKOTB again. Actually, KC got the tickets. We are taking Shawn with us this time, no matter what comes up. I am so jazzed because we are going to 2 concerts in March. Whoo hoo!

I got a cool award from Gabriel, too. That is sweet! I always feel undeserving when I get an award, but it makes my day :)

Not much else to report. Birthdays coming up and I am undecided as to what I am going to do for them. We have three in a week starting February 27. We all get soo sick of cake.

Any ideas?

First Photos

Ruby had five lil puppies last night.

Five!

The first one popped out just before 4 am and by 6 she was done. I can't believe how brave she was! Five babies and she barely made a sound. I had mine one at a time and I carried on like my hair was on fire!

Ruby is fine, Bumble is confused and Shawn and I are tired.

More photos later.

Ruby

It is 4:48 am and I have been up all night. Ruby's water broke around 1:30 am and she had been acting out of sorts. I decided to stay up to keep an eye on her. I am soo glad that I did!

Puppy number one was born at approx 3:56. She has had three all together, and I am going to keep a watchful eye for the next hour or so to make sure that there aren't anymore.

Oops. Gotta go. Looks like there may be one more...
Photos later!

Remember This??

KITCHENER — A teenage girl was pushed and robbed of cash by two other girls as she and a friend left Fairview Park mall.Waterloo Regional Police said the 14-year-old victim and a friend were near the exit of the mall on Tuesday at about 8:30 p.m. when they were approached by a group of three teen girls and two boys.One of the girls approached the victim and tried to take money out of her pocket, police said.She got some cash and then tried to take a shopping bag when the victim pushed her. The argument turned into a pushing match and a second teen girl joined in, pushing the victim.The victim's friend intervened and they were able to leave the mall. The 14-year-old wasn’t hurt in the incident.Police are looking for the two female suspects, who are described as between 15 and 16.The first girl was described as black, about 5 feet 4 inches tall with a slim build and black, curly hair.The second girl is described as possibly latina, between 5 feet 6 and 5 feet 8 inches tall with a slim build.She had brown and blond hair and was wearing a white a gold jacket.Anyone with information is asked to call police at 519-650-8500 ext. 4430 or Crime Stoppers 1-800-222-TIPS.

The two girls that were the main aggressors have been arrested. I just got the call from the detective this evening. Both of the girls involved (15 & 17) are being charged with theft, along with other charges.

All I can say is thank you to the police involved.
Job well done!

Still in loads of pain ( I am a wuss, what can I say??) and Ruby is still preggers.
I'll be back when I am not crying/whining/moaning all of the time and/or Ruby makes me a grandma.
Later.

These photos really have nothing to do with anything, I just thought that they were funny :)

I went for my dental surgery today, and it was worse than I expected. Like ohmygawdhelpmebad. I listened to my i pod and tried to pretend that I didn't see the dentist with that shiny scalpel and I couldn't taste that blood.

~ shudder~

I survived, though.

Whew.

Other than that, same old same old.

How is everything with you all??

We had a great visit with my SIL. She is so sweet, and incredibly funny. I laughed like I haven't laughed in ages, and it was just what I needed. As you can see, we had fun at Bumble's expense. He is so good natured that he will let us do just about anything to him. I think that Ruby is ready to go any day now. All she does is sleep. Well, she did perk up when SIL found the doggie treats. That is what finally Ruby over - the cookies. After SIL gave her a bunch of treats, Ruby was her best friend.

I think that TMOC must be missing his wife. He called to tell her that he was having beans and weenies for dinner - oh, and that he cleaned the kitchen. He is bored to tears, and I suspect, terribly lonely. I think back to Shawn's trip to The Studio in November and how lonely I was. I had the kids, two dogs, all of the other pets. All he has is three cats.

I am catching a cold and this complicates my life in the most unwelcome way. Well, what complications are welcome?

I go for my dental surgery on Tuesday. I am so not looking forward to it, but it has been cancelled twice before. Maybe three times. At this point, I just want to get it over with. The days leading up to my appointments are always dreadful, and to have to cancel yet another appointment...It would make me crazy(er). I mean, really, the stress is gonna kill me.

I made an appointment to see my shrink, too. Unbelievably, I got one for this Friday. I have no idea if I will be able to talk by then, but with my shrink, talking really doesn`t matter. I can just shake my head and I will out in about three minutes anyway. I will, however, get a refill on my meds.

I am feeling much improved. I think that it has to do with Shawn going back to work. Not just for the obvious reasons (money can be exchanged for goods and services), but the fact that Shawn is always upbeat and chipper when he is busy. He is not one of these people that just sit around (like me, lol). He needs to be busy. We are ALL happier when he is busy.

I suspect that our personal relationship will be much improved when the money issues are taken care of. I know that we always have money issues, we are not independently wealthy. We have struggled for many years now, but this has been awful. Christmas is the worst time to be worried about money and with the disconnection of the phone hanging over our heads, it doesn`t make matters any easier. In a couple of weeks, this will all be a memory..I hope.

Ok, friends, Ruby is acting out of character and we are keeping a close eye on her. Who knows, tonight might be the night......

Can't talk now. Awesome sister in law from Nova Scotia will be here anytime.
She rocks, we are excited :)

Shawn is back to work! Whoo Hoo! He was so excited about going back to work today that he could barely sleep last night.
Lol.
No, seriously. That is the way he is.

I found out today that we owe aprrox. $600 and then we are caught up on our rent.
I am talking about more than three grand we will have paid off! We have been paying an extra $300+ every month to get it paid down. I am soo psyched! This will give us an extra couple hundred in our pockets every month. It will make a huge difference for us.

I am heading out with my SIL tomorrow, to see her new lawyer with her. I have mixed feelings about this. I have my doubts as to whether or not SIL will actually follow through with the custody/support thing from her abusive almost ex. On the other hand, she needs a friend in her corner. I know more than the average person about custody/asshole issues, so I guess that I am the friend of the day. Or week. We'll see how long this lasts.

My SIL from Nova Scotia is coming by on Saturday. She will be in Toronto for a few days doing some kind of training, and she will make the trip from there to see us. I love my SIL, TMOC's wife. I have known her since I was 15. It seems as though she has always been a part of the family. Sometimes I wish that she lived closer, but then I remember that would mean that TMOC would live closer too. Lol. That makes me rethink my statement :)

Jessica is fine. I am not certain how I feel about her hanging at the mall without one of her sisters there for back up. I am kicking myself because since we have had zero cash flow, our cell phone account is suspended. I hate having her out there and not being able to reach her. I know that it is not the end of the world and lots of kids go without cell phones every day. Lots of kids are not diabetic with a seizure disorder, though. Now, this mess at the mall? I am loathe to let her out of my sight.
I have no idea how I will react if we see these thugs at the mall. I am liable to freak out...
I know what you are all thinking...Biddie? Freak out? No way!

I know, cuz I am normally soo even tempered!

Oh, did I tell you that I am going to be a grandma?

Yup.
Ruby and Bumble are expecting.
How awesome is that?
My poor lil 8 lb dog is so fat that she looks like she swallowed a watermelon, and Bumble seems to strutting his stuff more than usual.


January 15 th would have been my Dad's 75 th birthday. I still can't believe that he has been gone nearly 10 years. I think that I will go through my old home videos. I can't remember his voice anymore. That is what I miss the most - just hearing his voice.

Maybe that is what I will do....spend some time with my Dad later today.

Have a great Thursday, everyone.

What ????

What the eff is the world coming to?? My 14 year old daughter and her friend were swarmed and robbed inside The Bay.
Did you all hear me?

They were inside the store when it happened.
In fact, Jessica's friend was actually sexually assaulted.

Inside.

I am so freaking pissed that I could just kill someone right now.

The police are on their way right now.


I think that's going to be a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KITCHENER — A teenage girl was pushed and robbed of cash by two other girls as she and a friend left Fairview Park mall.Waterloo Regional Police said the 14-year-old victim and a friend were near the exit of the mall on Tuesday at about 8:30 p.m. when they were approached by a group of three teen girls and two boys.One of the girls approached the victim and tried to take money out of her pocket, police said.She got some cash and then tried to take a shopping bag when the victim pushed her. The argument turned into a pushing match and a second teen girl joined in, pushing the victim.The victim's friend intervened and they were able to leave the mall. The 14-year-old wasn’t hurt in the incident.Police are looking for the two female suspects, who are described as between 15 and 16.The first girl was described as black, about 5 feet 4 inches tall with a slim build and black, curly hair.The second girl is described as possibly latina, between 5 feet 6 and 5 feet 8 inches tall with a slim build.She had brown and blond hair and was wearing a white a gold jacket.Anyone with information is asked to call police at 519-650-8500 ext. 4430 or Crime Stoppers 1-800-222-TIPS.

Bumper Stickers

Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.
Impotence..Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called ...they found your head..

Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.


WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one..

Some people just don't know how to drive... I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

!
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Hang up and drive!!

Better

Thanks for all of your kind words. I am feeling a bit better.

I feel less homicidal at least.

I will be back soon, as long as my internet conncection holds out.

Biddie xx

Pain

Seems like that is all that I feel these days.
Pain.

I am not trying to be a drama queen, I am just trying to explain myself. I don't really know if I can.
Things are not going as well at home as I let on. Or, maybe, I thought that things were better and tonight it hit me just how NOT ok things really are.

I am on the verge of a breakdown. I have left the house three times since Christmas Day. No, three times including Christmas Day when Heidi and I took the dogs for walkies.
That is probably the same amount of times that I have gotten dressed or brushed my hair.
Kinda doesn't matter anyway. Nobody ever sees me.

I have been struggling to make time for a breakdown. The truth is, I really don't have that luxury. You see, I have to make it to the disability office by Friday..Have to be there in person to show them my birth certificate. I need to fill out papers that must be signed, by me.

We have no money coming in, so our only hope is my support and/or GST cheque. Once again, they both come in my name, and I am the only one that can cash them. If they don't arrive, or if they do and I don't cash them, we will be without our home phone by Saturday.

Then, there is the small matter of guilt. How could I possibly leave my family knowing full well that we don't any money, not enough groceries? Will Jessica take care of herself? I doubt it. That seems to be sliding recently, too.

Then, there is the matter of Shawn. When I tried to tell him just how depressed I was, his response was.."It's all about you.."

Jesus Christ. I am having a fucking breakdown and I am selfish.

If he - if anyone really knew what was going on inside of me...If only.
Shit, that would actually make things so much easier...Here, look THIS is what the problem is guys...SEE??? Yeah, that would be much more to my liking than trying to talk about this crap.

Shit.

What am I even saying here? I dunno. My thoughts are racing and I...I...am stumbling. Faltering.

Am I asking for too much? Maybe I am. Maybe the whole 'unconditional love' idea is bullshit.

Maybe there is no such thing.

All I know is that I feel so alone.

More alone than ever in a house with four other people.

Church Bulletins

Church Bulletins

They're Back!
Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with old fashioned typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: -------------------------- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. ----------------------- --- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. ------------------------ Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.-------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'