Showing posts with label scared outta my skull. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scared outta my skull. Show all posts

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I Think I Can

You know that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomache when something - anything - has you so beyond stressed that it is all that you can think of? That queasy, icky, feeling of dread that you get right before a big test, or a trip to the boss's (principal's) office?
Yup. I got it, and I can't shake it.
Something big is going down, alright, but it is something that I have zero amount of control over. So why do I obsess so much?
If I knew the answer to this than I would probably be working full time, I would sleep peacefully without a slew of doctor presrcibed happy pills. I could breathe deeply and step onto the bus alone, without my ipod, without coming up with some sort of escape plan in my head.
I wish that these simple actions were just that for me - simple - but every move that I make outside of these four walls must be carefully planned.
Where was I going with all of this? I have a thing tomorrow, and I am scared sh*tless. I HAVE to this, there is no choice.
I am going to put on my ipod, take some crazy pills, and lean very heavily on my support system - Shawn and Lynn.
I can do this.
I can.