WTF???

Ok seriously, I know that it has been a bit since I have blogged - the fact that I know longer have a computer hinders my creativity - but for crying out loud, that does not give anyone the right to hijack my blog. Since I ended a "friendship" some months ago, everything electronic has been hacked. WTF???? This person claims to love me, yet all he/she does is make my life a living hell. This my former pal, is anything BUT love. GAH. In other news, Landon is beyond awesome. He looks like my Dad, and I find a certain peace in that. I wish that my Dad were here to see him, but this is the next best thing. I can't wait for my Dad's sister to meet him. He is walking, just beginning to talk - WOW - is his new word. I keep telling Shawn that I love this little boy beyond anything that I can explain, express, more that I ever thought possible. He still takes my breath away every time that I see him. How incredible is that?? Jessica just turned 17 and in the next few weeks we will be shopping for prom dresses. I am still in denial. My baby is almost finished high school. She is doing remarkably well, in every way. She is healthy, and is on the honor roll. She wants to be a baker or chef when she graduates, and I could not be more proud. I miss this. Blogging, venting, dropping in to say hi. I miss my blog buddies and the sense of community that it gives me. I need to come back more often.

Cha cha cha I'm Back

It has been so long since I have written anything of depth, substance, or anything at all really.
There are many reasons for this lull. I can tell you, and myself that Landon has been occupying my time, or my many pets, my girls, crazy summer adventures, or something of the like are competing for my time. While this is true enough, the real problem isn't any of the above, or in truth, even my lack of a computer in our house. The real,honest to goodness truth is that my own brain is sabatoging me. I am very much medicated, see my shrink, and do what I can to ease the stress of my broken mond.
It just doesn't make a lick of difference.
I can not control my racing thoughts, the craziness that seems to not only follow me, but actually embraces me and threatens to strangle me in its hold.
There seems to be no escaping the madness that follows my every move, my every thought, my every breath. I don't know HOW to find my way out of this.
Not even writing is enjoyable or theraputic for me anymore. Most days I can barely put thoughts into real, full sentences, never mind find a way out of this dark hole that is hovering above me, waiting to swallow me.
I am lost, and wandering. My only hope is that something or someone finds me before it is too late.

Happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful Dad's out there.
   Special thoughts to all of you that have lost a Dad....

Just For Laughs

I am actually looking forward to Mother's Day this year. Not only is my daughter a new mom, I am a new Nana and I am speaking to my own Mum again after an 8 year estrangement. It still doesn't feel real sometimes - the Nana part, having a relationship with my Mum, having a daughter that is a mother. I guess that it is still sinking in.

I hope that all Mom's feel like this on Sunday and everyday.

Proof

that I can bake and survive. Yes, I made these on my own, and they are 100% home made by me.

Oh, and they were incredible, if I do say so myself :)