Wednesday, November 29, 2006

For Tod

Ah, the morgue. I worked there for a few months right after my 2nd marriage came to a crashing halt. For those of you wondering HOW I got the job, it all started with these words..." I could totally do the Quincy thing!"
Seriously, that's how it started.
My marriage was over, and I was looking for a job. I had been home with the kids since they were born, and the baby was going into kindergarten. I wanted to work, it felt like the right time. The only problem was finding a job that fit this criteria:
I needed to be home by supper time. The little one was diabetic, and the middle one had epilepsy, so paying a sitter for any more than a couple of hours was out of the question. The girls fell into the 'special needs' catagory, thus tripling the hourly wage for any sitter.
Weekends had to be optional, or a few hours spread out over the 2 days. For the same reasons as above.
I needed to earn enough to pay my way to work, and for the occasional sitter. I needed a job that would allow me take phone calls at work in case of an emergency.
So with all of this criteria in front of me, I set out to find a job.
As luck would have it, most of my family works in the medical profession. My brother in law was a morgue attendant part time, working on his off time from the fire house. My mom worked in the lab at the hospital, and was the head of her department. My sister worked in x-ray at the same hospital.
My mom hooked me up with her boss, who asked me one question before hiring me.
"Do you faint?"
I am a fainter, from way back. Blood isn't the trigger, though, it's stress or low blood sugar. Blood I don't mind.
That was that. I sat in on an autopsy to see if I could do it. I was at work within about 4 days of my 'interview.'
I don't remember much about that 1st autopsy. I only watched, afterall. I do recall that a police officer that was also observing nearly passed out. Much like the opening credits in Quincy.
I was hooked. It didn't matter that the guy training me looked like an escapee from the morgue. He was sallow and morose, with dark circles under his eyes. I called him Rick, The Creepy Morgue Guy. He LOOKED like the morgue guy. I guess that made me the morgue girl. Creepy.
Rick was a nice guy, but it felt odd having him hit on me while I sewing up a chest, or using a bone saw to extract someone's ribs.
The best part of the whole thing was the money. I won't lie. I was making $24.98 an hour....Six years ago. Weekends were mostly on call, and you got paid extra for that, plus they gave a way cool pager.
Most shifts were about 4 hours long, and the only time that they did nighttime autopsies was during an emergency....Like some sort of catastrofic event. We don't get much of those here.
My duties were all hands on. I did the cutting, the organ removal, I sewed 'em back up, I cleaned them afterwards, and I cleaned the room and utensils.
The blood never bothered me. I had so many layers of protective gear that it was easy for me to focus on the task at hand. My brother in law helped to train me, too. I took the flack for him on the day that we rushed out to make it to my Dad's memorial service. He did a piss poor job cleaning up our 'client', and the family was quite upset. Blame it on the trainee, thank you very much. Chris might have been fired if they knew it was actually him that left poor Amy looking like that.
Yes, I remember her name. She was a nun that hung herself in a utility closet. The cops were called in on that one because of the circumstances. I'll never forget her face, or the feeling of sorrow that washed over me when the coroner ruled her death a suicide. What could have caused her to lose her faith so? I'll never know.
There was a young woman, 26, that came in one day. She looked about 40, with needle marks and years of hard living etched on her face. Her name? I know it, too. She had a little flower in the body bag with her. Her 4 year old son placed it there when they took her away. I made certain that it went back in the bag when we were done. COD? Drug over dose. She had 2 kids, and a drug habit that cost her her life. The worst part of it was seeing her common law husband on TV 3 days later, begging the viewers for help, because his wife had died of heart failure. He was parading his kids around on camera for all to see. It turned my stomache.
Then there was Jim. Jim was about 40. He had just come out to his family and discovered that he was HIV positive. He jumped to his death from a parking garage. I took extra time with him. I tried to give him the dignity and care in death that he must've felt was so lacking in his life.
Does this sound depressing? I didn't really look at it like that. I learned so much from that job. I learned about life, and death, and dignity. I liked taking care of the people that came my way. I did my utmost to treat them the same way that I would if they were a family member or a friend. I loved the people that I worked with. Even creepy Rick was ok. When he wasn't hitting on me..(Ohh, I like big girls...Oh, Bridget a wonderful woman like you deserves better...You're ex doesn't know what he's missing. If you were my girl....When all of that failed, he enlisted my mother to help him. He even tried enticing me with his swimming pool). I liked the quiet solitude of the morgue, and working alone. I would turn up the radio and dance with my mop while I cleaned. Plus, not one single client EVER complained about me. 100% client satisfaction!
I was home with my kids when I needed to be, making good money, and for the 1st time in my life, my family was proud of me. So what was the problem?
Kids. That was one problem. I thought that since there were no children admitted to the hospital, there would be no autopsies of children. Not so. Apparently, our hospital got the spill over from the other local hospital. And they ALWAYS sent the stinky ones. That was my other problem. The stinkers. Blood, I can handle. Guts, cutting, sewing, no problem. Stinkers and bugs.....That was where I drew the line. I won't go into it, but let's just say that morgue work can involve maggots.
I had one lady that had sat in the sun for so long, that she bloated beyond recognition. I don't remember her name, but refer to her simply as 'The Green Lady.' She exploded.
The other problem that I had was another apparent suicide. He came into the morgue in about 8 pieces, and his face came in an envelope. That in itself wasn't the problem. The fact that I knew the face was. It was the brother of a man that had dated my sister Posh. Someone that I knew? It was too much.
I reluctantly turned in my scrubs and quit my job. I didn't think that I would be able to perform another procedure on a friend, a family member, or someone that I had even met in passing. My short lived career was over.
It's ok. You put morgue attendant on your resume, and you get the employers attention. They know that you'll do ANYTHING for money. All's well that ends well.
And Rick? He married a woman that LOVED his swimming pool. I was NOT invited to the wedding.
While struggling to come up with a blog topic, my daughter KK suggested that I write about her. She is 15. She wants a monkey for Christmas. She's not getting one.

I could write about other things. I could write about my brother, TMOC and the recent phone call that I got from him. He saw the photo of my Christmas village and wants to know WHY I have a farm in the city limits. He wants to know if I remember where HE was Confirmed. He wants to know WHY I don't mention him more often in my blog. Oh yeah. He also told me that he is a wearing a kilt when he gets married in May and that he looks better in a skirt than me. That was pretty much the jist of our long distance conversation. I told him that YES, he would look better in a skirt than me, I do NOT remember where he was Confirmed, and the farm is in the city limits because I am the city planner, thank you very effing much. I swear, he moves 1500 miles away and still drives me crazy.
Really, I don't know what to write about. I would love some suggestions. PLEASE. I am begging for some suggestions. I'll take any.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


I have been tagged by Marni, over at A Pug's Life, to write some sort of tell all about my crushes. There have been so many that I barely know where to start.
My earliest crush was probably in kindergarten. His name was Mike, and we liked each other because we were the fastest runners in the whole class. I don't remember much about him, except that we always sat beside each other in the reading circle. Anything was better than sitting next to Tony Baloney....He peed his pants more than once, prompting our teacher to change the 'sharing circle' to the 'reading circle'. Tony shared a little too much.
My next crush was Luke. He was in my grade 1 class. Once again, there was too much sharing going on in the circle. This time, however, it was me. I showed Luke what was under my shirt, right there, in the classroom of my Catholic school. That was the 1st time that I was ever sent to the principal's office. Next was Dennis Fanti. We played Electrowoman and Dynagirl at recess. He was hot, in a 7 year old kinda way.....
My first reciprocated love was Robbie Shushack. We were both 10, and man, was I in love! He had a fort in his backyard, and we hung out there with Posh and Robbie's best friend. We shared a mutal love of animals and spent every waking moment hanging out and riding our bikes to the horse stable. I still have the silver heart that he gave me on the day that he moved away.

This is Dirk Benedict. You know him as the Face man from the A-Team, or Starbuck from the original Battlestar Galactica. He was hot then, he's hot now.

This is Randolph Mantooth. From Emergency! Yup, still hot.

Next on the list is Christopher Atkins. He was the man of dreams for oh so many years. He was in Blue Lagoon, The Pirate Movie, and Dallas. No one has ever filled out a loin cloth quite like him.

Marc Singer. Remember him from V? Running in those tight jeans? Enough said.

Carlo Imperato. Danny from Fame. Hey, you knew that I loved "Fame." Now you know why.

There have been other guys. My first love started out as a crush. His name was Blaine, and I fell for him hard. I thought that I would never love again after I moved back to Ontario and left him behind in Nova Scotia. I still think of him from time to time.......

My biggest crush EVER was, and always will be Shawn. He was my next door neighbour when we 1st met. Sort of. He WAS my next door neighbour, but we had some of the same friends, went to the same parties, and hung out at all of the same places for 20 years. He knew 2 of my brothers for years. He knew TMOC's bio father, and uncle. He worked for that uncle. Strange that it took us living in the same ghetto to actually meet. I do believe that it was fated, and that we were meant to be together.

So there you have it. Most of my crushes from the past 20 + years..... What a blast from the past.......Now it's my turn to tag.....I tag The Adult in Question, Cindydianne, and Tod..............You're it!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Too Much Time On My Hands

I've been sick. Some kind of cold/flu type bug. I haven't done much of anything, I've slept, and I've done alot of thinking this week. There isn't much else to do when you're lying in your bed (alone) all day, with a snotty nose and a pounding headache.
So this is what I've been thinking of.
My brother is getting married. I love my brother. I adore his fiancee, who I have known for 22 years. She is a wonderful person, with a heart of gold, and a quick wit. ( You need both to be with with my brother). I live in Ontario, TMOC and Lovely live in Nova Scotia. I have 3 kids, and a houseful of pets. (No, really, a houseful. 2 dogs, one cat, 3 birds 9 bunnies, a turtle, a guinea pig...have I missed any???). We don't have a lot of money. I can't work, and we barely eek by on Hubby's pay. TMOC and Lovey want us to come to the wedding. I WANT to go the wedding. It will cost us about $2000, to take the train, and pay for hotels/motels/food. I don't have 2 grand. Our Mum will be there. We haven't spoken in about 3 years. We will not speak at the wedding. I have no one to take care of my pets. Hubby won't want to take time off of work, cuz he's a sub contractor and taking off one week could cost him a job that may last for months.
I don't know what to do. KC has booked the time off of work, and is willing to pay for her train ticket, but that still leaves at least 3 more tickets, and expenses...........I feel so torn.
J has gained weight, and her blood sugar levels have come down ever so slightly. She still needs to gain about 5 pounds, and I'm worried about her long term health if we can't bring her numbers down. I don't know what to do, I am at a complete loss. I wish that I could take this away from her. I wish that she didn't have to live with this horrible disease.......I know, I know.....If wishes were lollipops..........
I am still unmedicated, due to the fact that that we don't have medical benefits. My meds would cost upwards of $200 a month without coverage. If I had my meds, I could probably work part time. Without them, my depression worsens, and I'm afraid that I'll end up in the booby hatch - AGAIN.
On the bright side, being sick has also given me time to think of all of the things that I am grateful for....It's actually a pretty long list.
I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my sweet (but naughty) puppy, a working furnace, diet pop, push up bras, my cute little house, my king size mattress, a long, hot bath, (thanks to the working furnace, and gas), chocolate, of any kind, a Hubby that LOVES to cook, that Fame is back on in re runs (don't judge me!), my washer and dryer ( we spent nearly 2 years going to a laundromat where the owner alternately hit on me, or KC.......EWWWW), my uber-comfy sleep pants (I'm wearing them right now), and, the ability to laugh. Honestly, witout it, I would be back in the booby hatch.....Oh, I can't forget my computer, which has brought all of you into my life.....
Have a good weekend, everyone.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Not a Total Crap-Fest..........................................

I should tell you, the weekend wasn't a total crap- fest. I got to sneak in a visit with my favourite people and pug in the whole world. That's right, Heidi, Jethro, The Boy, The Girl, and The Pug, all came to visit. We rarely get a chance to visit, due to the unfortunate lack of automobile, and the great distance......That should all change after Heidi and Jethro buy their farm. I know that farms are generally OUT of town, but it will be much closer to THIS town. I can't wait.
It seems that Ruby and the Pug are in love. There was a definite connection. I can't help but wonder what pug/yorkie-shih-tzu's would look like?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Thanks For The Lift, Dad

After bitching so much about Hubby's family, I was starting to feel a little guilty. I was thinking that they couldn't be all THAT bad. I mean, maybe was being too harsh.
We got a phone call from Hubby's eldest sis about 4 days ago. Hubby's mom is turning 80 and the family is having a big dinner at a resuarant on December 8 th...Wouldn't it be nice if everyone could be there? Now, I like this sister of Hubby's. We don't see her much, she stays out of the family conflicts, and she has always been nice to me. Hubby nixed the idea right away, but I told him that we should think about it. How bad could it be?
We were at Wal -Mart today (yes, yes, I love Wal-Mart), and we ran into another sister. He has 7, so it happens.....We were both waiting for rides...We were waiting for a taxi, she was waiting on Shawn's dad. Sure enough, Shawn's dad pulls up. When sis tellls him that we're waiting on a taxi, he waves, AND DRIVES AWAY.
Thanks, dad, you ass-hat. I guess that there will be 5 empty seats at the dinner table on the 8th.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I saw my Godson tonight. He works at Wal-Mart, stocking shelves. I don't see much of him anymore, he's 19 now, no longer the little boy that once spent countless nights sleeping over, the same little boy that would throw his arms sround me in a big bear hug, the little boy that I almost raised as my own.
I met his mom when we were kids. I was 18, and she was just turning 16. We were both pregnant with our first baby, and living at St. Anne's House, a home for unwed mothers. Andrea, kept mostly to herself, keeping the paternity of her unborn baby a secret. I felt bad for her, so young, and so alone. Her son was born on November 9, 1987, while I was at a dentist appointment. She moved out shortly after.
KC was born on March 6, 1988, and it wasn't long after that we bumped into each other again. Andrea's son was gorgeous, a tow headed chubby little guy with a quick smile and an infectous laugh. Andy and KC spent so much time together that they thought they were brother and sister. I babysat Andy when Andrea went to school, out on dates, looked for a job. I bought him new outfits each time I bought one for KC, and each toy that I bought was bought in pairs. I loved him like my own, and he loved me the same way.
Andrea got a scholarship after she finished highschool. A full ride to a University in B.C, lodging, food, books, the whole 9 yards. There was only one problem.
Andy was only about a year old when the offer was made to his mom. She couldn't take him to B.C. She couldn't have a baby in the student residences. She had no family, no friends out there. She had no way to take care of him.
I honestly can't say whether she asked or I offered. Either way, she wanted me to take Andy. It was that, or he was going into foster care. I couldn't let that happen. This little boy was a part of my life. He was a part of my family. I loved him unconditionally, and even at a year old, he felt it.
Andrea made plans to go, and I readied myself to have 2 one year olds living in my little second floor apartment. I can't remember why Andrea didn't go. It was 18 years ago. My memory has faded, some things are better forgotten.
She stayed, and Andy stayed with her. I don't think that she ever got over not going, I don't think that she ever forgave Andy for holding her back. He was what some people would call a problem child. He couldn't sit still, he broke stuff, he lied, he stole. I loved him anyway.
I lost track of his mom a couple of years ago. She's not a bad person, she's just different than me. We have different priorities, a different way of thinking. She is very needy, and I just don't have it in me to give anymore. I know how that sounds, but I couldn't rush to her aid when my own family was in need.
So, I see my Godson every now and again. His mom kicked him out about 6 months ago, because he was "In her way." He went to live with an aunt, one of his mom's sisters that needs a person to take care of her young boys- for free. He sleeps on a couch and I know that he's paying her bills.
When I saw him tonight, what he told me nearly made me cry, right there in the health and beauty aids aisle where we were standing. He has dropped out of school and is spending all of his free time at the bar.
I feel an incredible sense of guilt. I made a promise before God and witnesses to be there for him, to guide him, to be there when no one else was. I feel like I should have encouraged him more, kicked his ass if needed, I should have told him that I cared.
KC will turn 19 in a few more months. She is in college, working part time, struggling to find her way. How could these 2 kids that once shared a crib, be so different now?
I saw my Godson tonight. He was stacking shelves and smiling, talking to co workers. I saw my Godson. For a brief moment, he was 9 months old again, sitting on my lap. He was 5 years old, getting ready for Halloween. He was 7, and we were having his birthday party at my house. All of these memories flashed before my eyes, and I cried.
I cried for Andy and what has become of him, and I cried for KC. I am thankful that my daughter is still in school, pursuing her dreams. I can't help but wonder about Andy. I wonder if he would've had a chance if his mother would've gone away. I wonder if she blames him for all of her failings. I wonder if his mom ever thinks of me. I wonder, if, like me, she wonders what would've happened if I would've kept Andy. I wonder if she knows that with a different life, he would've stood a chance.
I wonder.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I'm giving in to peer pressure, and I'm posting a photo. Please be nice...I was 3 sheets to the wind here. Hubby and I were at my cousin's wedding, a little over a year ago. It seems that I drank all of the gin that night...Me. Just me. Let's hear it for open bars!!!!

This is Charlie, our cockatiel, or as Hubby likes to call him, our cockatool. See him stomping through my Christmas village? Nice. Thanks, Charlie.

This is Bird. We used to call him Steve, but he answers simply to 'Bird.' He's a jerk. He screams when the phone rings, has been known to do fly bys on unsuspecting visitors, (and KK), and sometimes, just sometimes, will nest in my hair.

On a more serious note, I am taking J to see her endocrinologist tomorrow.....I am praying that she has put on more (enough) weight, and that we are one step closer to getting her the pump. It has been such a long wait. I'll keep you posted and let you know what the Dr. says....I'm sure that it'll be a lot!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

This is the other thing that we did this weekend. We made cookies. Christmas cookies, to freeze and save for later...well, that was the idea. Instead, we made a pile of cookies and ate most of them. This photo is the pizza cookie that KK and J made. It was SOO good!
My former mother-in-law is coming over today. There was something mentioned about donuts and coffee. I love when she comes over. She loves my Hubby and tells everyone that he is her son in law. When you go to her house, your just as likely to photos of us as you are to see photos of my ex. Actually, you're more likely to see photos of us..
Grandma just got here, with donuts as promised. Guess it's up to me to make the coffee.....

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Christmas Village Time!!!

It's that time of year again! Christmas village time!! KK set it up for me today while I was making supper. See the farm in the top photo? Brand new this year. It's my new favourite. I'll probably spend the next month or so moving the pieces around. The kids always put random crap in it, just to piss me off. It works. Today, we found Ruby walking through the village like she owns the place. I can't wait until we put up the tree. Darn dog will probably try to climb it. Or bark at it. For hours, like she did with J's parka, and the Pine-Sol, and the steam cleaner, all of the things have frightened her in the past couple of days.
Yesterday, J and I used our free passes to the movies to see The Santa Clause 3. I had a pretty good time. The movie wasn't exactly oscar worthy, but for a mom and her nearly 12 yr old daughter, it was ok. Besides, I didn't get hit with anything this time. And, it was free.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Five Things That You Might not Know About My Guy...

Ok, here we go again. This time, however, I'm writing about my guy. He's a pretty interesting fellow, really.

1. He was once picked up by the police for riding the KFC bucket. You know the one, and don't tell me that you haven't thought about riding that spinning bucket yourself. The thing is, it isn't really a bucket. It LOOKS like a bucket, but there's nowhere to climb IN, you have to climb ON. Anyway, he was just about up when the cops started pulling on his leg. I don't think that they pressed any charges..That time.

2. Hubby once had a pet gator. Well, it was a camen, actually. His name was Booger, and he grew to about 7 feet. He started out living in a kiddie pool, and he eventually took over the whole basement. When the police raided the house (that's another story, folks), he was taken away to the African Lion Safari.

3. He once brought a live weasel to school for show and tell. In a garbage bag. Do you really need to know more????

4. His teachers used to give him 10 minutes at the start of each day to perform a stort of stand up routine. It was easier that way.

5. He was once beat up by a priest. Seriously. I think that it had something to do with Hubby eating the Host and drinking the wine for school mass. I his defence, Father Bernie was a tough old guy.....

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Another darn squirrel blew my hydro out today. Great. I'm beginning to think that it may be a conspiracy.....