Whisked Away

Last weekend my eldest daughter and I boarded the Greyhound and took a mini vacation to the big city of Toronto. We spent two nights at a 4 Star hotel on the 22nd floor.



KC and I rubbed elbows with celebrities and spent some quality time window shopping.I can't resist The Disney Store, and now I have a little one to buy for. I am so looking forward to the day that I can take Landon shopping there with me.



This week is all about spring cleaning. We have cleared about 6 garbage bags and at least as many boxes out of the basement. It's a big freaking deal for me, cuz, although I am not a hoarder, I really could be. I hang on to things, to compensate, I suppose, for all of the loss in my life. That's what Dr. Phil would say anyway.


Life is the old boring thing otherwise, I am waiting for my next two nights away in June when KC head back to the big city to see New Kids On The Block and The Backstreet Boys. It's all good, you can laugh if you want, but I am counting the days!

Tired. Tired of being walked on, used, and then being pushed aside when I can't do something 'useful.'

  Tired and just plain done with the bullshit.

RETIRED HUSBAND




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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.



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Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.



Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.



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Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:



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Dear Mrs. Harris,



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Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our? store.



We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.



Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:



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1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.



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2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.



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3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.



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4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.



This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn



resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.



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5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.



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6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



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7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers



he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding



department to which twenty children obliged.



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8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,



'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.



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9.. September 4 : Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.



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10. September 10 : While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.



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11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.



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12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ' Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.



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13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'



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14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



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And last, but not least:



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15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Family Friday :Birthdays, Baby, and Cakes