Today is my anniversary. Well, it is in some alternate universe where Dumb Bridget is still married to Rudi.
That's right - 19 years ago today Rudi and I were married. I was 20 and he was even younger. We gave in to pressure from my family and decided to get married, because, we were, after all, living in sin with our toddler daughter.
It's a story that you have all heard before. From me, I mean. I have already told that story. Been there, done that.
What I was thinking of today was not the wedding itself, but how much my life has changed in the 19 years since I walked down that aisle, a 2o year old bride, full of hope.
It didn't take long for Rudi to pound the hope right out of me.
I am 39 now, twice divorced and once again, living in sin. We don't own our home, we owe money to everyone and their uncle, and we don't own much.
Rudi is married to the woman that he was cheating on me with. They are living un-happily ever after in Woodstock. They own 10+ acres of land, a big house, 2 Harleys and 3 cars. He is living his dream life in many ways. Well, he hasn't seen his own girls in years and his step kids, that lived with him for 15 years moved away and have little to do with him....Hmmm, maybe that IS part of his dream.
As I sit here, tonight, in my rented home, on a borrowed computer, with my butt on an old orange chair, I realize something.
This is where I want to be.
Rudi can have his toys and gadgets, his fancy cars and big house.
I have something that I had been looking for since I was 20 and I marched defiantly down the middle of my little church in Smallburg.
Real, honest, forever love.
Happy Unversary, Rudi, where ever you are.