I went back to see my shrink last week, a couple of hours before we had to get ready for Kayla's prom. I have to admit that I do feel a lot better since I have been on the new meds. They are kicking my ass as far as sleep - I can't seem to get enough - but I am a changed woman! I am no longer crying for hours on end, I actually smile now, and best of all, I have been getting out of the house - alone.
That's right friends, I have been walking the dogs all by my lonesome.
There are no words to describe how incredible it is to finally break free.
Shawn and I got FREE passes to the movies last week and saw Drag Me To Hell. I loved it. I am a huge Evil Dead fan, so this was right up my alley. We have two more free passes, but we can't decide between Up and a couple of others. I have to chose carefully - these are the last of my freebies.
There have been other things to occupy my time and keep me busy.
Last Saturday we had a visit with Heidi and her girl, Tribble. I love girl time with Heidi, and it was especially great to have her girl along. I couldn't help but look at the sweet 15 year old with the gorgeous super model smile. I wanted to tell her to smile more, but I didn't. I should have. She is such a great kid, I love to see her smile.
Shawn and I have had numerous doctor's appointments in these past few weeks. Shrinks, dentists, and a couple of specialists, too. Shawn has had an MRI, CT Scan, an ultra sound, and was checked out by a vascular surgeon. I am not certain what is happening yet, but we do know that there are no blood clots in his leg or knee. We do know that he has a large cyst behind his right knee that will most likely require surgery, but that is about all that we know right now.
I have put off discussing this with my friends, mostly because it scares the hell outta me to think of cancer or surgery, or any more time spent in the hospital. I am ready to go into full on PSW mode if I have to, but let's hope that it never comes to that.
Honestly, this change in meds could not have come at a better time. I just picture myself moping in my room, fretting about this and that. I actually feel ok.
I do.
How cool is that?
Oh, one other wee bit of news. I will turning 40 in 20 days. Not sure how I feel about that...I'll let you know. :P
11 comments:
Great to see that you're doing so well. Re: Shawn and his possible surgery, don't panic. A cyst removal is a simple procedure nowadays, and he will be runnin' and jumpin' in no time! :-)
Bridget that makes me so happy,brought tears to my eyes!
:))
Thinking of you and Shawn during this time. Take care.
xo
which med cuz i want to switch...
i HATED turning 40...still don't know how i feel about it...
really.
Gabriel - The cyst is easy enough to deal with, I suppose, but we are waiting on some other results as well. I am not going to panic, but I am worried.
I am feeling SO much better over all. Seriously :)
Heather! - I miss you! Want me to call you ? Send me your number again. I am thinking of you too, my friend. Hugs.
Dilling - I am on 300 mg of Wellbutrin, 10 mg of Cipralex, my Seroquil, and Lorazapam (just 4 mg a day). I think that the Cipralex has been working miracles. I just can't even tell you what a difference it has made!
bid- two things: no blood clots and meds working...
THANK GOD!!!!!!!!
Seriously, there are some answered prayers!
(Dilling may have hated turning 40, but I can say that she's beautiful and I can't see age changing that!)
You, my dear, have been through hell over and over, and ANY bit of relief is a blessing. I agree that this is a good time. Keep it up. Now's the time.
It was a quick but sweet visit! It's so hard for me to get there and I feel bad about it but any time is good time. Wasn't it cute with the two girls and the hair straightening? They crack me up - they're so shy for the first few minutes and then they're cool. Did yours used to think they were actual cousins of mine? Mine said they were surprised to find out that they weren't actually related. I think that's funny!
Hang in there, babe.
xo
Heidi - It really was a good visit. Tell your girl to smile more often.
I am feeling good. I have my bad days, but they seldom involve throwing things and/or crying all day now.
I will feel even better when the test results show that everything is aok.
Did you get KC's phone message???
It's great to hear that the new meds are working. It also might help to keep a picture of me in your back pocket for those times when you start to feel a little down. ;)
Corky - Lol. That is a great idea! I was thinking more along the lines of Max and Ben, tho :)
Glad to hear the meds are working, along with that pic of Corky! LoL!
There is a light at the end of this long long tunnel. At first it is really dim and we don't always see it - but eventually - as we drag ourselves closer - it gets bigger and brighter.
Then - one day - it shines full in our face and we almost need sunglasses - but instead - we bare our teeth and smile in the face of danger. We're ready - set - to go!
Fingers crossed on the cyst thingy.
Hey you, I am so glad to hear you are feeling well. I'm sure it gas been a long hard road. Enjoy these good moments for all they are worth. Many people in my family battle depression; it is a daily struggle. I love hearing encouraging news like yours.
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