Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I know that I haven't been around much. I haven't been posting or commenting much, although I am still lurking a bit. Things have incredibly streesful and crazy around here, and I just seem to be in a funk.

A few days back, another of Shawns sisters was rushed to the hospital. She had two emergency transfusions, and we waited for tests to be done. Of course, we all imagined the worst. It turns out that Linda has an ulcer and is waaaay underweight. I think that she will be ok, but it scared the crap outta us. Shawns mom spent mothers day without one daughter and with another in the hospital.

I must admit, we had a great time at Shawns parents house on Sunday, though. Honestly, we had so much fun. This was the first family event that we have been at in ...... four years? Maybe longer. I laughed my ass off, and even the girls all had a good time.

Yesterday, I found out that one of my Dads cousins passed away last week. She was my Dads favourite cousin, and her parents were good to him when he was living in the orphanage for 10+ years. She was only 57, and I hadn't spoken to her in some time. The day before I found out, I had been talking with Kayla about her, and was planning on calling her. I feel awful. I wish that I hadn't lost contact with so many important people.

I am struggling with my depression more now than I have in a long time. I have been in contact with a social worker that is going to come right to my house. She will help me to deal with my shrink, and make sure that the next time I see him, I am actually heard. These 5 minute in-and-out visits only stress me out more. I think that this will help - big time.

So, that's all that has been happening with me. Still here, still kicking and still lurking. I will be back to my normal obnoxious self soon, I'm sure.


Gabriel said...

You know, it's always good to hear from you, even when you tell us that things are not going too well.

I'm happy that you're slowly getting some of that extended family life back. It must be great.

Re: other transitions and your health, well, I know it's hard to cope with all of that crap. But luckily, you have a great family around you, and many friends -and blogbuddies- who care about you. You will be OK.

Biddie said...

Gabriel - Thank you :)
It does feel good to have our extended family back. In fact, we went to the bbq at Jessicas school tonight and we stopped at Shawns parents house. It was a nice visit...KC and Kayla came with us, and Grandma seemed happy to have us there.
Family has always been such an important part of my life and I am so happy to fel like a part of one again.
I am depressed, but that comes and goes..At least now I feel like I WILL get better.

Heidi the Hick said...

There's hope. Never give up.

I think this worker visit situation will be very good. You need help dealing with your shrink - what is that with those quick visits??? You need to be heard and I think she can help with that.

I'm going back to see a counselor again in a couple of weeks. Ohhhhh yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy. Well, it can't do any harm, right?

Gardenia said...

It is indeed good to hear from you. Shrinks - well, they are only for prescribing meds I think - might as well try to talk to a tree. I'm glad someone will be there for you. I pray the cloud will lift and the spring sunshine will warm your spirit.

CindyDianne said...

Keep your chin up, if you can. We need you around here!

Burfica said...

I'm glad you are still lurking. I'm glad nothing major with the sis in law, and that you had a good time at the in laws.

Also glad that it seems the social worker is gonna help you.

All that must make you feel a tiny bit more less stressed.

I'll be lurking and waiting till you are ready to come back biddie.

Heidi the Hick said...

*snort* you just described yourself as OBNOXIOUS and NORMAL!

Love it!

The Manic Street Preacher said...

Nowt wrong wi obnoxious...

Not sure about normal mind.... ;-)

Heather! said...

I'm here too..

Glad things are better tho.


aims said...

Biddie -

It is so easy to assume guilt when we are depressed. And depression is very common at this time of the year. A very long winter makes us wait and wait - skies are grey with looming rain that will wash away the winter and bring hope once more. But the grey puts us in a funk.

Psychiatrists! Bah!! They are overpaid and big-headed windbags!
I think they are a bane on society! And you know how many I have seen and for how long!

Try thinking about your blessings Biddie. Count them. It is easy to sluff this off and say - oh right - count your blessings. But really. Sit down and make a list of the things that are good in your life. Look at that list every single morning and it will lift your spirits. We all have blessings. Some are smaller than others and go unnoticed - but we all have them.

If you can - have a look at this website. I have seen it work wonders on my girlfriend.


I'm not pushing their vitamins - I know they are expensive. But they really do work. If you can't afford them - then try adding some extra vitamins to your diet. And fish oil. In capsules. Two capsules of fish oil a day - and Stress B Vitamins. It helps Biddie - it really does!

Thinking of you!

Tod said...

It's good to hear that it is working out with Shawn's family.

Can't wait for the return of your obnoxious self! ;) LoL!

Phoenix5 said...

(((((BIG HUGS)))) Everything I was going to say has already been said. We're here for you, Biddie!

Anonymous said...

love you at all times x

Canadian flake said...

Hi there,

Hope you don't mind me stopping in to say hi. I have been on a blogging "hiatus" for about 6 weeks so I am just now getting back and catching up on everything I have missed. Please know that as always, even when I am fighting my own demons you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I will be back later to read more...just wanted to say hi. Hope your daughter is doing well.

whimsical brainpan said...

I am so sorry that you've been having such a time of it lately. (((HUGS))) I hope things get better and that the social worker will help you straighten things out with your shrink.

mjd said...

I am catching up with your posts including your post on Shawn's blog. I hope that things are good for you today. Take care.

Canadian flake said...

Hey there,

Just popped in to check on you and say hi. Was just reading up on some of the old posts I have missed...so very sorry your daughter was sick again. Hope she is doing better now.

CindyDianne said...

Ok, it is time to check back in with us. We worry.