Sunday, June 08, 2008

I had an unexpected visitor today. Unfortunately, I missed her.
My blog buddy, Christine stopped by, with some plants for my garden. She had called yesterday, to ask of she could stop by today. Shawn took the call, I didn't even know that she called.

Yesterday was a rotten, awful, no good day. I seriously had an atomic panic attack when Shawn and I were out getting groceries. I sat on a curb by the grocery store, and cried for over an hour. I wish that I could say that was the worst of it, but sadly, it went downhill from there.

In all of the commotion, Shawn forgot that Christine called, and I pretty much went to bed when we got home. Today, I slept most of the day away, partly from my meds, partly from the shame and exhaustion of yesterday. When Christine showed up today, Shawn was taken by surprise, and didn't even invite her in.

I am soo sorry that I missed you, Christine! Thank you so much for the plants. You can't imagine how that gesture means to me, especially after yesterday. Please, come back again, and Shawn will bbq...

You're the best :)


Anonymous said...

hi sweetie, so sorry you had a crap day, hope you are feeling better today so lots of (((hugs))) and lots of thoughts coming your way, and i promise i will soon be having that silly stuff on me blog to give you a smile x missed ya loads x

debi said...

I am sorry you had such a bad day. Panic attacks suck. I have been a bit down too and I thought of you and hoped you were having a better day than I. Not so much eh? Hope today is great.

Heidi the Hick said...

What a drag. I hate days like that.

Please remember that this is not permanent. And that there are so many out here cheering you on. And that you're one of the best, biggest hearted people I've ever met.


Phoenix5 said...

((((HUGE HUGS))))

I'm sure Christine understands.

whimsical brainpan said...

I'm sorry about the panic attack hon. (((HUGS))) And I'm sure Christine will understand.

Gardenia said...

Oh, Biddie - those things are awful. Did I mention that since getting my hormones straightened out and getting over that medical crisis seemed to be key in getting rid of those horrible attacks? I don't know what had happened chemically in my body when those things started, or ended, but I can say, it sure gave me empathy for folks going through this!

aims said...

Hey Biddie. I still can't do the grocery store. 10 years later - and I can't do it.

There is something about all the people and the looming shelves on either side full of brightly covered objects all shouting for your attention.

I just can't do it.

I can go straight through the grocery store to the pharmacy at the back where I am doled out life saving medication from a very caring pharmacist who use to bring my drugs to me as I cowered in a faraway aisle. He would pat me on the back and walk me out of the store. He's still there and is now on my friend list.

So. You may never be able to do the grocery store again. But don't worry about it. Shawn will be able to manage and might even begin to enjoy it.

As for you - stay home in your garden and wait to see what you discover in the grocery bags. I can guarantee you it is much easier mentally - and almost like Christmas each time.

Let someone else take over right now Biddie. You just rest.

Chellie said...

Panic attacks completely and totally suck and mine are worse now that I'm alone and have to do everything or it won't get done. I think the pressure is what sets me off. Take some pressure off and sleep all you can!

Gardenia said...

PS Biddie - the prices alone in the grocery store would cause panic attacks.......I am wondering if there is something about the lighting or something in a grocery store that kicks off attacks? So many people have a really difficult time with grocery stores - I still have a bit of a time with the stripes that are often in front of the store if I forget and look at them, it feels like that are folding inward and want to wrap around me....luckily Walmart doesn't have those. But the vast expanse of the store is very overwhelming - but then smaller stores sometimes bring claustrophobia to people - my oldest daughter had the same result as me when she started seeing Dr. "Lovely" - about 90% of her panic attacks left for good so far - I think they are hormonal as well, would explain why mostly women suffer.

Christine said...

No worries.
Shawn greeted me like an old friend...not old like a fragile senior citizen, but rather like he knew exactly who I was.
I'll definitely stop to see you next time I'm in the area. But turn the grill off - I'm the perfect dinner guest: I don't eat, remember? LOL
And if you don't think there's enough sun in the back yard, take those plants out front...
then again, maybe you shouldn't listen to gardening tips from me!
Be well,

Tod said...

Panic attacks suck big time. Sorry to hear that you had a bad time. I hope you are feeling better. :)