I can hardly believe that I have about 4 weeks until the wee one arrives. I look back on the past few months with awe. At times the days passed soo slowly, and yet suddenly, here we are, just a few weeks shy of Landon's arrival.
Kayla has been feeling fine - well, if fine is huge and tired - and is so ready to hold her little one tight.
This child has been the catalyst for so much change and he is not even here yet. I credit Landon for giving me the strength to call my Mum and tell her that she was going to be a great grandma. We had not spoken in years and even though I had a lot of anger towards her, all I really wanted was her love and approval.
I am sad to say that we wasted so many years, but beyond happy to tell you that we finally have what is shaping up to be a 'normal' relationship. At 41, and a month away from becoming a grandmother, I have my own mother in my life.
As for my step mother...I doubt if she even knows that Kayla is expecting. Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone has facebook and she has probably heard the news. I have not heard from her, though, and honestly? I am good with that. Sometimes you have to slough off the crap, and that is what I am doing.
It's not about anger anymore. I just don't see what she or any of the others from that side of the 'family' have to offer to my kids, or my grandson for that matter.
I only want positive people in Landon's life, so I guess that leaves Mission Mary out in the cold.
My sister in law was here last month and I think that she may have seen a little bit of the 'real' me. I can hide my crazy ass ways when people only see me at family gatherings, or for small periods of time. My SIL actually spent two nights here. Gah.
I love her so much and she is just about the sweetest person that I know. We have silly fun days out at the second hand stores or just hanging at the house. I mean, she is awesome.
And I was stressed beyond the max. I sleep schedules are all screwed up, I can barely function like a person should - cooking, cleaning, all of that - and I am a big moody mess sometimes. I hope that her stay wasn't marred by my mental madness.
Jessica will be 16 next month, right about the time that Landon is due. I want to make a big deal out of her sweet sixteen, but the timing could not be worse. You never know with Jess anyway. She may very well prefer a quiet night with her boyfriend to a big party and all of that hoopla.
Speaking of grandmothers and hoopla - it is getting too late for this old lady.
Talk to ya'll soon.