Sunday, November 07, 2010

The Final Countdown.

I can hardly believe that I have about 4 weeks until the wee one arrives. I look back on the past few months with awe. At times the days passed soo slowly, and yet suddenly, here we are, just a few weeks shy of Landon's arrival.
Kayla has been feeling fine - well, if fine is huge and tired - and is so ready to hold her little one tight.
This child has been the catalyst for so much change and he is not even here yet. I credit Landon for giving me the strength to call my Mum and tell her that she was going to be a great grandma. We had not spoken in years and even though I had a lot of anger towards her, all I really wanted was her love and approval.
I am sad to say that we wasted so many years, but beyond happy to tell you that we finally have what is shaping up to be a 'normal' relationship. At 41, and a month away from becoming a grandmother, I have my own mother in my life.
As for my step mother...I doubt if she even knows that Kayla is expecting. Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone has facebook and she has probably heard the news. I have not heard from her, though, and honestly? I am good with that. Sometimes you have to slough off the crap, and that is what I am doing.
It's not about anger anymore. I just don't see what she or any of the others from that side of the 'family' have to offer to my kids, or my grandson for that matter.
I only want positive people in Landon's life, so I guess that leaves Mission Mary out in the cold.

My sister in law was here last month and I think that she may have seen a little bit of the 'real' me. I can hide my crazy ass ways when people only see me at family gatherings, or for small periods of time. My SIL actually spent two nights here. Gah.
I love her so much and she is just about the sweetest person that I know. We have silly fun days out at the second hand stores or just hanging at the house. I mean, she is awesome.
And I was stressed beyond the max. I sleep schedules are all screwed up, I can barely function like a person should - cooking, cleaning, all of that - and I am a big moody mess sometimes. I hope that her stay wasn't marred by my mental madness.

Jessica will be 16 next month, right about the time that Landon is due. I want to make a big deal out of her sweet sixteen, but the timing could not be worse. You never know with Jess anyway. She may very well prefer a quiet night with her boyfriend to a big party and all of that hoopla.

Speaking of grandmothers and hoopla - it is getting too late for this old lady.
Talk to ya'll soon.

Biddie x


Coffeypot said...

The last few weeks before delivery is always filled with excitement, happiness, angst, worry and the whole gambit of emotions. But DO NOT let anything stop you from celebrating her 16th birthday. That is a big event in kids life. But have fun will all of it. We only get one chance to do it, so make the most of each occasion.

Anonymous said...

So happy to see you back! You must have soo much on your mind right now!
Coffeypot is right- do Jessica's birthday as big as possible. 16 is a big year!

Peter Piper