Happiness Is...

Kayla and Jessica July 29th, 2007
KC and Heidi July 29, 2007 (please don't hate me!)

The sunflowers that Kayla and Shawn planted this year.
Biddie and Hedi at the Juno celebration party. I actually don't like this photo of me that much, BUT....I love Heidi and I love the fact that it is Heidi and Biddie together. What more could I ask for?

Rockin' Blogger

A little while back, Her Indoors picked me for the Rockin' Blogger Award. I had so much going on that I just couldn't even begin to fathom such a thing. ME? Really?

Well, things have settled down a bit since then, and I am finally taking time to thank my friend for awarding me such an honour. I still can't do links, so you'll have to look for Her Indoors on my side bar. You all know her by now, anyway.

I think that I'm supposed to hand this special little award out to some other deserving people. Is it ok if I pick my own daughter? I pick The Adult In Question (Random, on my sidebar, for anyone that my be new here) because, well, she rocks. Where else can can you hear the straight dope on what it's like to be a college student living at home with the coolest parents ever? (Ok, maybe that's MY perspective, but whatever). I still think that she rocks. She reminds me that sometimes I need to take time to stop and smell the roses, or listen to the music.... Either way, she rocks

The next person that I pick is Deb. She is new reader/friend. Why does she rock? Five kids, SEVEN grandkids, and still she finds time to blog? I love her humour, her way of looking at life, and I promise, spend 5 minutes with her, and you'll love her too! (She's on my side bar now, too)

I could easily say that all of my blog buddies are Rockin' Bloggers. Honestly. You all are. Every one of you. I have to leave some awards for the others to give out, though, don't I? :)

Good News!

Who's been praying for me? It's confession time heere. Who's been praying for me? Seriously.

I think it worked.

Two of the church committee memebers just came by with eviction papers. I told them what's happening...with the bankrupcy, the back taxes, the garenshee, and laid it out on the table. I told them that if I file bankrupcy, I can include them in my debts, and they will be out the $3200 that we owe....OR, they can work WITH us, and still get their money.

Guess what?

I have until the 2nd Sunday in August to come up a signed agreement and my August rent. If I can pay my rent every month, and make payments on the back rent, WE CAN STAY.

No, wait, let me say it again. WE CAN STAY.

Thank you.

This is what it's all about. Family. Real family. See the smiling lady in the brown sweater?

That's my (older) cousin Wendy. She was the closest that I ever came to big sister until Lucky came along. She took me rollerskating, took me on Road trips,(and never complained about the numerous pitstops along the way) did my hair, taught me about boys, and called me Spinner.

I adored her.

The other lady is my aunt Dolena. She bought me red dancing shoes when I was 4. I thought that I could dance forever. She is my Godmother and she has taught me many lessons over the years. I bet that she doesn't even realize it.

I look at this photo, and I feel good. These are the people that count. Screw the rest of em.

SO, long story short? Betty ignored me for more than SEVEN straight hours, first at the funeral home, and then at a family gathering later.
The night before, also bad. Horrible. Very bad. My brain snapped, BUT, I made it. Oh yeah. Neither one of my mothers could break the Biddie.
Aside from Betty's complete indifference to me and her grandchildren, it was a great day. I laughed my ass off, and got to hang with cousins, aunts and uncles that I rarely get to see. I have a special connection to my cousin Wendy, and she told me in no uncertain terms that Betty owns this disfunction, not me. There were hugs a-plenty, and many photos were taken. Expect to see some on facebook, unless Tanya and Kim take bribes.
It's too bad that my Aunt Kaddy had to die to bring us all together again. I hate that. I am hoping that maybe her death will bring Betty closer to HER family, and will make her realize that life is too short for this. Hoping, but not holding my breath.

Whew. Last night was ......... well. Heidi said that the worst thing that could have happened, happened, and I survived. Hows that? That was just the wake, though. Today is the actual funeral. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle things today. Shawn is at work, and TMOC is here. Last night, after the wake, my first stop was the liquor store. Today, I'm ready for anything.

Wish me luck.

Oh, yeah....by the way. I hate when people always say..oooh, doesn't he/she look GOOD when there is a visitation at a funeral home. NO, they don't look good. They look dead. Plastic. Pretend.
Just had to get that off my chest.

Later...................

What A Week!

Where do I start? This has been one hell of a long week...I'm not even sure where to start. What day is it, anyway?

On Monday (I think it was Monday) Shawn and I went to Revenue Canada to see just how much they think he owes on back taxes. The first number that they gave us was pretty high...$15 grand, but, I thought, managable. I wasn't sweating like a whore in church just yet. I really thought we could deal with that amount. Well, as it turns out, that amount is WRONG. The nice lady that we spoke with thinks that a more accurate number is actually about $50 grand, which is what I have been saying all along. She informed us with a big smile on her face that she will from this point on be taking 50% of Shawns paychecks to recover the debt. Starting July 31st, if we haven't cleared it up, she will begin to "squeeze a little harder" and take 75%.

I think at this point that Shawns chin literally hit the floor. I had to pick it up for him. We had gone it come in with some kind of repayment plan, and this is what was offered to us. Of course, she knows what our total income is, because she works for Rev Can. She knows that my income is NIL, and that Shawn is the sole support of our household.

There is good news. Shawn is NOT going to jail. This is something that he was afraid of. It could have happened. The Canadian goverment has done it before. I think that the powers that be KNOW that by putting in the clink, they will never collect on this debt, or collect ANY tax money from him again. Thank God for that.

So, yesterday, on Friday the 13th, we went to see some Bankrupcy Trustees. NOW I was sweating like a whore in church, let me tell you. I had heard horror stories about claiming bankrupcy. The truth is, it's not that bad. We own NOTHING. Not one thing. Two nasty divorces wiped me out, and Shawn? He's got nada. I have a lot of paper work to get together, and Shawn has to get his tax information in order, but the bottom line is way less scary then the altrenative.

We will pay the trustees $160 a month for 9 months. If our income surpasses the $3787 a momth that we are allowed by the gov't (yeah, right), then we pay the trustess half of the surpluss. That's IT. By doing that, we will wipe out ALL of Shawns debt. We don't stand to lose anything. Our credit rating is shot, so starting over doesn't scare me. The day that the papers are filed, then NOBODY can come after him for any money owed. Not even RevCan.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I really don't care if money will be tight for nine months. Money is ALWAYS tight. The past few months have been awful, and we have been hiding from RevCan anyway. At least this way, we can clear it all up and start over.

My Aunt Kaddy passed away late on the 12th. I was relieved. She was in pain, and it was hard to see her like that. I spent her last 3 days at the hospital with her, and I am SO glad that managed to make it there. Sometimes, you just have to kick that anxiety in the ass.

Of course, this means that Betty, Stan, and TMOC are all on their way here from Nova Scotia. I think that I could deal with Betty much easier if TMOC weren't here. It isn't his fault, but his being here will make it even worse for me. She will spend every minute with him, and I will be the odd man out. I am not thick skinned enough to ignore it. I will try, but I know that she will get to me. The best that I can do is not to let her know it.

We got an eviction notice on Monday, too. It just keeps getting better, doesn't it? With the bankrupcy looming, there really isn't a way for Shawn to even work overtime and make up what we owe on the rent. I don't know what we'll do. I feel like we have been given a fresh start with the bankrupcy, and I practically floated home yesterday. I am really hoping for a miracle, here. Karma, maybe. I dunno.

Shawn and I had to pick up insulin and we missed the bus...We were at the bus stop, and had been there about 40 minutes...my ankle was killing me, Shawn was tired...crazy tired, when a taxi pulled up and offered us a ride. For FREE. After the week that I had, I thought it was a mirage. It wasn't, though, it was, it was my favourite cabbie that drives me home most Fridays from the grocery store. He drove us to the pharmacy for free because (he says) I always leave him a nice tip.
As I was leaving the taxi, I found a purse, kind of tucked in the seat. It might have been stuffed with money. I need money. Alot of it. Nobody would have known that I had the purse, and I could have gotten away scott free.

Well, nobody would have known but me. I gave the purse to cabbie, who told me that it belonged to a little old lady that had forgotten it earlier in the evening. And, yeah, it probably was stuffed with cash.

Karma, Baby.

Today is 8 years since my Dad passed away, and 10 years since Lucky's Mom passed away.

We miss you.

It's Sunday morning, and everyone is still asleep. This is the first quiet moment that I have had in days. (deep breath)



Okay.



KC got a message on her cell phone from my OTHER mother yesterday that went something like this...'KC, this is Mary.(long pause)......I have some things that belong to Bridgets father that I don't want. I'll be dropping them off later today. '



Ok. Let's review this....BRIDGET'S FATHER? Doesn't she mean Grandpa? How effing cold is that? So, I spent that WHOLE day waiting for that lunatic to show up and drop off stuff that is probably nothing more than just a pile of papers or maybe another set of false teeth....I think it must be stuff that her new hubby doesn't want cluttering up the place that isn't worth any real money......



Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....I am still awaiting word on Bio Betty's sister, Kaddy. Last I heard, they were taking her off of life support on Monday. Some of my family members will arriving tomorrow, others, like Betty, are waiting until after my aunt is gone. It's too hard on Betty, don'tcha know?



Shawn is out of town working. He's coming home today. There's just too much crap going on here to be away from home, and there is a job that he can start in town tomorrow. I think that the time away was good for us, but just between you-and-me...I will be SO glad when he walks through that door tonight!



So, Mission Mary will be here in about an hour, give or take,and Bio Betty will be arriving in less than a weeks time. I get to be rejected pretty much tag team style. It sucks. I spent most of yesterday feeling like I was going to throw up. I am so dreading the next week or so.



Anyway, as you can see, the past few days have been diffucult for Ruby, too. She barely finished her dinner before she fell asleep the other night. Her boyfriend The Pug came for a visit yesterday, and only stayed about 10 minutes. No wonder they call 'em the dog days of summer.....



***update***



Mission Mary came and dropped off some stuff. I'm surprised at what she brought. Most of it is complete and utter crap. This is what she does...brings me crap because she knows that I won't be able to part with it. Some of what I got was a complete shock. I got my Grandmothers cabinet. Not just any cabinet, but the same cabinet that I have been asking for since my Dad died, almost exactly 8 years ago. I also got: 3 bags of pens, 1 bag of pencils, 1 pair of polyester tennis shorts, a strand of Christmas lights, my fathers dogs rabies tags, a new, unopened, tube of tooth paste (must have been special to my dad?), a comforter, curtains, 2 coffee mugs, some old family photos (many, many, are missing), my grandmothers antique lamp, a binder of handwritten peotry, his passport....There's a lot of stuff...Some models, handcrafted, that he spent hours on, crammed into bags, smashed to pieces. I think what took my breath away the most was the sight of my Dad's beloved flag, stuffed into the bottom of one the piles of clothes. I almost didn't notice it.



I hated that flag. My Dad hung it every year at the family cottage. It has our family crest, and he made sure that it was the 1st thing he did when he opened the cottage for the year. He flew that Damn flag. Now, It's down, cuz, Mission Mary has another name. She won't be needing anything with John Joseph STEEVES name on it anymore.



Maybe that's a good thing.

One of my aunts is very ill right now. I got a phone call last night telling me that she is in a coma is not expected to survive the next few days. I like my aunt very much. She is sweet and good natured, and nothing at all like Bio Betty.....

Oh, yeah, did I mention that? Bio Betty and the rest of the family will be arriving from the 4 corners of the world. I know how selfish this is going to sound. I do.

I am not ready for this.

I think that if I have to deal with Bio Betty and some of the others, I just may end up the hospital. I don't want to see anyone. I'm not ready. It's only been a year since I last saw Betty, and I just can NOT go there again.

I hate this. I have a huge family. Most of them don't bother with me, even though we live in the same city. I have have an aunt and 2 cousins on my facebook. That's the extent of my family involvement. Thanks to Bio Betty, I am pretty much a stranger among my own people. Of course, there is always the OTHER side of my family...You know, the side that disowned me and stole my inhieritance.

I just want to be left alone. I do. I just want this all to go away. Maybe I can just hide under a big pile of coats until this all blows over....

Baked Potato, Anyone?

SIGH.

Can anyone guess what this is?

Anyone?

It's Shawns new blanket. Yupper. It is. It's one of those emergency blankets that you use for camping or you put in a first aid kit your car. I left the man alone for TEN MINUTES and this is what happens.

I find him wrapped up in this.

I tried to get a photos of him sleeping with, but he woke up just as I was zooming in for the kill - er - picture. He wanted to take the damn thing to bed with us.

Oh, and the best part?

It crinkles when you move.

Where are my meds...?