Monday, September 17, 2007

Six Years Ago

Six years ago, on September 18th, 2001, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I mean huge,enormous, life altering. I agreed to date my next door neighbour, Shawn.

September 11th, 2001, was a day that none of us will ever forget. It is engrained in our memories forever. I will never forget September 11th for all of the reasons that everyone never will, and for some reasons that are all my own.

I seperated from my husband in May of 2000. I had decided that I would not rush into anything, and that I would just hang with my girls for the next little while, and forget all about men, dating and all of the complications that dating men will bring to your life. I was fine with that until I moved into a little townhouse next door to the burly construction worker.

I thought that maybe he looked familiar, but I didn't really KNOW him. He was a repeat customer at the grocery store where I worked, and he was the uncle of Kayla's friend. He was also my new neighbour. He smiled shyly whenver he saw me, and almost always blushed when I said hello. I could feel my cheeks grow hotter when he spoke to me,too. He would come over to use the phone, and borrow this or that. I liked him, but I was certain that he was taken. I toyed with the idea of asking him out, but could never get up the nerve.

September 11th changed all of that. I watched the twin towers burn to the ground on tv, and thought that the world might be ending. I knew then that I would have to make a move on the hot guy next door. It was now or never. If the world was going to end, I didn't want to die alone.

Later that night, as some of the neighbours and I were sitting outside, talking about the tragedy, a man walked up to me and handed me papers. He was posing a pizza guy, and I instinctively knew that he was looking for me. I was served with court papers from Geoff, husband #2, stating that he wanted custody of Jessica. She was only 6 then, and he hadn't even seen her for months. He was behind on support, and hadn't even so much as called to ask about the daughters that he left behind. Now, on September 11th, of all days, he was letting me know that had every intention of splitting up the family, and taking away my baby. It was more than I could deal with. Scared out of my mind, I phoned Betty in Nova Scotia, and made arrangements to leave the province. I had no doubt that I would retain custody, but the road ahead seemed too long. I could NOT do this. I spent 7 years battling Rudi for custody, and dealing with the fall out from that. I was not willing to do it again. No way. I was out of there.

Betty told me that she was going to send me money to move, and even had a house for me to live in. She and Stan had recently decided to rent out their 3 bedroom townhouse, and it was empty. That same night, I started planning my escape. I would pack all of my stuff that fit a U-Haul, take my 3 kids, my dog, and split. I was outta there.

Then, something happened to change my mind.

Shawn asked me out. The guy that I had been crushing for months finally got up the nerve to ask ME out....I said yes. I had to.

For the first couple of days, he came over to my house, and the girls played with his niece while Shawn and I watched tv in the living room. We didn't even kiss until our second 'date.' I was falling in love.


Please. Could my life get anymore complicated? I was supposed to be packing my kids up and moving across the country. I wanted to run, and I wanted to stay.

I stayed. I really had no choice. Shawn couldn't leave Ontario, and I didn't want to leave him. Strange as it may sound, I was in love. (Still am)

Betty was pissed. She didn't understand how I could risk everything for a man that I had just met. I didn't know how to explain it. The girls were mad. They had been burned twice, because of the choices that I had made. They were afraid to love again.

Honestly, so was I.

We have been together since September 18th, 2001. Just one week earlier, I had cried myself to sleep, alone, and frightened. I was angry with God. Angry over the tragedy that I watched unfold on tv, and angry over the fact that I was once again, going to fight for my baby, this time without a partner.

I can't believe how much my life changed in that week. I can't believe how much my life has changed in the past six years. We have been through so much, as a couple, and as a family. We aren't perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but we are a family.

I wouldn't have it any other way.


her indoors said...

so glad you have found that special someone to be in your life, it makes life worth living.

Biddie said...

Her Indoors - It took me long enough, but I finally found my guy. Who would have ever guessed that he was right next door?

Heidi the Hick said...

Ah memories.

I'd forgotten how tight all those events were. But then, I sometimes feel like you guys have been together.

I do remember that I was scared to get too attached to him. After the ex know. They hurt ya bad. But, big Shawn won my heart. You two have had your struggles and it's only made you stronger. In my opinion, that's part of what makes being in love so amazing!

YAY!!!!! Happy anniversary!

(WEll written by the way, my dear!)

captain corky said...

Love is amazing and changes everything. I'm glad you're with a guy who treats you good now Biddie. ;)

coffeypot said...

I'm glad you are happy, now. Give Shawn a hug for me, because I can't do it. Because, uh, hum, I'm a man, ya know.

Simply Amethyst said...

Thats a beautiful story... Love can do amazing things, especially when you aren't expecting it!

Camie Vog said...

This post is beautiful!

Happy Anniversary!!

Biddie said...

Heidi - Yup, it does feel like we have been together forever. In a good way.
We were all afraid to trust again. It was hard, but worth it. I parayed to God, and He brought me Shawn, so I knew that it HAD to be right. Six years....:)

Corky - No, I said I LOVE him. (LOL) Treats me right? Yeah, he's pretty good. You're right though, love changes everything.

Coffeypot - I will hug him (and more) when he gets home, but the more part will be just from me!

Simply Amethyst - Thank you, and thanks for stopping by. We seem to frequent some of the same places :)
I honestly do not know where I would be without my Shawnie.

Camie - HI! ~waving~ It's good to see you out and about again!
Thank you. (blushes)

Tod said...

What a great post. I love it when love finds a way...Yay!

Biddie said...

Tod - Thank you! I had just about given up when Shawn and I finally found each other. I truly think that we were meant to be...Honestly, there is so much more to the story!

Heidi the Hick said...

You know what I think is really funny? I meant to type "together forever" but left off the last word. And you got it. See, cuz you're fluent in Heidi.

And back to the topic- you can hug him for me too. I'll trust you to the AND MORE. I know you can take care of that.

Biddie said...

Heidi - Well after all of these years, I had better be fluent in Heidi!
I will hug him from you and trust me, the MORE will come later, after the kids are in bed. :)

catherine said...

hey biddie, happy anniversary :D
justwondering if ya got the
dates screwed up.You wrote that you and shawn started dating in 2001, but you separated from your ex in may 2005. I think you mean 1995 maybe? lol

Biddie said...

Catherine - LOL. I did screw up. I seperated from my ex in May of 2000. I wonder if everyone else was wondering, but were too afraid to say anything?!

Gardenia said...

What a nice story - I like to hear of the ones with happy endings!

Biddie said...

Gardenia - Aren't happy ending the best? :)

Gabriel said...

Sweet story, Biddie. I liked it very much, and it reminded me of how my Sept 11th week was back in 2007.

On Friday, September 7th, the company I was working for (QJunction) closed its doors and I was laid off. I was still absolutely broke by that time, since I had arrived in Canada only a few months before.
On Monday the 10th, I went to the office and asked if I could use their computers to look for a job (they said yes). That's where I was on the 11th, and I spent most of the day trying to get a hold of my brother (who works about 300 m away from the White House) and my sister in law (same distance from Pentagon). Luckily, they were fine.

That same night, I had to take my son Juan to the hospital with a bad asthma attack, so bad that he was admitted for five days (he was 2 years old then). At least I could stay with him, since I didn't have a job anymore.

I will never forget that week.

Biddie said...

Gabriel- Wow. What a day- what a week. It sounds like you come so far since then! (I didn't realize that you still so new to Canada). I'm glad that your family was ok. I think back to all of the innocent people that were lost that day, and I count myself as one of the lucky ones. All of my family was safe. Thank God.

CindyDianne said...

Sometimes families just don't get it. They don't have to as long as you do!

So glad he asked you out! ;-)

Biddie said...

Cindydianne - I would have asked him if he hadn't come around...I have never asked anyone out before, so I was a bit nervous. I'm glad too, though...(of course, there is more to the story)

Canadian flake said...

This was a nice story...thanks for sharing. This is the stuff SOS posts are made of.

Isn't it funny the twists and turns life takes eh??

Happy Anniversary...

Hattigrace said...

Hey, just came over from 4D's after visiting Jamie's blog.

Spent a lot of time reading. Love your writing, your story. Wish I had found you sooner.

Phoenix5 said...

Once again, a very well-written post. I find it very intriguing how often our prayers are answered in ways totally unexpected to us. I'm very glad that your story has done so well up until now. I was about to say ended, but it's not ending... not yet, anyway.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

That is so sweet!

Congratulations on your six years together!

Biddie said...

Canadian Flake - There have bneen soo many twists and turns. There is more to this story, but that about sums it up. Thanks for the well wishes! :)

Hattigrace - Hi! Thanks for stopping by. We have some same hang outs, too! (Thanks for stopping in at Jamie's place) Come by anytime, and I'm glad that you're here now!

phoenix5 - Thank you. I hope that the story doesn't end here. You're so right about our prayers being answered in unexpected ways.

Whim - Thank you! We went out to dinner, just us, to a place that doesn't have a drive thru! Whoo Hoo!

dilling said...

I had plans to leave texas days after going out with fact, I only went out with him cuz I KNEW I was moving...I just didn't want to get into another relationship!!! Needless to say, I didn't move...until we moved together...
funny how things work out, eh?

Guilty Secret said...

What a beautiful post. Happy anniversary :)

Biddie said...

Dilling - How many years later is it for you? I guess that it was meant to be - you and Michael, me and Shawn. Strange how love can sneak up on you when you least expect it :)

guilty secret - Thank you!

coffeypot said...

I noticed the date error, too, but I didn't give a shit. Its how the story it ended that's important. And you CAN tell me about the "and more." It will be between me and you. I won't tell anyone - promise. You can even use videos.

Biddie said...

Coffeypot - LOL. Actually, we were too tired for the 'and more'last night.
Sorry, but I don't have any videos. I bet that Shawn is disappointed, too..

dilling said...

Biddie...7 years, nine monthhs...

Biddie said...

Dilling - and counting....:)