Today we laid Mary to rest. It was incredibly difficult. I know that funerals usually are, but this was much worse that I could have ever imagined.
Wednesday was the visitation. Shawn had to work, so KC and I went to the afternoon session alone. It was like walking into the lions den for us. My anxiety is like a crushing weight on my shoulders for little things, like grocery shopping. You can imagine what it was like to be in that funeral home amongst people that were less than thrilled to see me. I was pleasantly surprised though. The sisters that I thought would be a problem were welcoming. I felt united in grief with Shawns family. In fact, one sister even said that she was tired of all of the arguing and estrangment. She wants to see a change. So do I. I just wonder if it is possible.
One good thing may have come from all of this. Shawn has reconnected with Marys two sons. There was no estrangement, just life getting in the way of family. I think that may change now. It's too late for Mary, but we still have her sons.
I am trying to cope with all of this. There have been so many changes in one short week. We are all still reeling.
A good thing happened for me, too. Bio-Bettys sister came to the funeral today, to support Shawn and I. I am not very close to her family, mostly because I was raised by my father and Bio Betty had very little involvement in my life. Today I feel like maybe a positive change has made in that family too.
Why does it always take something like this to bring people back together?