Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Yesterday was not one of my better days. J and I had to go to the JDEC - The Juvenile Diabetes Education Centre at the hospital. J is my 11 year old and she was diagnosed with JD when she was only 3. It has been something that she, and the whole family, has struggled with ever since.
It seems that no matter what we do, her blood sugar, or blood glucose levels, are sky high or way too low. For years, J suffered from low blood sugars and seizures. Now, they're way too high. We have tried different types of insulin, changed her schedule, changed her diet, nothing seems to make a diference.
I have to tell you about my baby. She is one of the most content, even tempered kids that I have ever met. Truthfully. Her 1st word was HAPPY. When she was little, she would ask if she could go to bed, instead of asking to stay up. She has never complained about this horrible disease, not once.
It breaks my heart to see her suffer like this. I worry endlessly about the complications of this
monstrous thing that has taken over her life.
When we went to see her Dr. in March, J was slim, but healthy. She was 89.5 pounds, and 5'1. Yesterday, she had grown an inch, and dropped to 78 pounds. She should weigh about 92, 95 by now. I was shocked. I knew that she had lost some weight, but I was unprepared for something so dramatic.
We are now faced with finding a way for J to put on weight and do it in a wasy that will be healthy for a diabetic. For everything that she eats, she needs insulin, and finding the right balance has always been difficult. Now, it seems nearly impossible. We have one month, to bulk her up, or the Dr. will have to put her back in the hospital. Anymore weight loss, and she is back in the hospital.
As her Mom, I feel responsible. I feel like my defective genes cursed her with this life altering
nightmare. I feel like I should be able to control it, to make it go away or at least make it something that we can deal with. How? How do you fight something like this? I don't think that I can stand the thought of J in the hospital again, hooked up to an IV, pale and sad. I hate it.
You know what the worst part is? She won't complain. She never does.
I would take this away from her in a nano second, the blink of an eye, and take it upon myself. If I could. If only I could..........