Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Have Hose, Will Travel

We are barely settled into our our new home, I still have boxes to unpack, curtains to hang,walls to paint. We've been here 2 months, after fleeing our old neighbourhood, full of drugs and hookers. Guess what? As it turns out, the house next door to ours is known as a crack house.
The landlord didn't tell us THAT when we moved in.
They're pretty quiet, actually. The worst part is all of the unsavoury looking characters that come and go. It only took us a couple of days to figure out that the place next to ours is a boarding house. That didn't bother me much. The old guys watching my dogs frolick on the lawn didn't bother me. The people coming to buy drugs, parking in my driveway, now THAT bothers me. Nothing deters these guys from using my driveway. Two weeks ago, Hubby and I came home from market to find a moving truck in our driveway, and part way across our lawn.
I've been mulling over the solution to this problem. I could call the police, but I don't think that my call would take priority. I am not legally allowed to have the vehicle towed. My solution was the garden hose. A bit of water never hurt anyone, and it has been crazy hot lately. So far, the offenders have high tailed it off of my property before I could get the water turned on.
Then yesterday, the gods were smiling down on me. I heard a car, and sure enough,there was a car in my driveway. Parked. Just waiting for me and my hose. K.C. watched from the window as I put on my shoes, ready for the attack. Then it happened. The passenger side door opened, and instead of STEPPING out, MR.Next Door ROLLED out,down my driveway, and onto the side walk. What does the guy in the drivers side do? He watches. Just like K.C. and I did from the livingroom window. Mr. Next Door reaches the sidewalk,and just lays there. Kinda like a turtle on his back. Or a dead bug, on his back with his arms and legs straight up, pointing.
I am a PSW, trained to help people in distress. Did I help? Nope. Couldn't. I mean the guy wasn't hurt, he was loaded, or hammered, or baked,whatever. I sat on my couch and watched. Mr.ND had to CRAWL up the little hill and into his front door. The funny thing is, my driveway hasn't been used since. Maybe I'm a little evil. Maybe . But I loved every second of it..And I didn't have to get the hose.


dilling said...

Cripes...they're everywhere. Some friends of ours asked why we live where we do...then they bought a house, paid 100,000 MORE than we paid for a crappy house with no character and guess what?!?
Yippur...crack house just up the block. Landlords can be such assholes.

Life, or Something Like It said...

I love my little house, I really do. It's about 80 years old with tonnes of character. I love where we live too. At least these crack heads are mostly old and harmlesss.They're even pretty entertaining once in awhile.

Heidi the Hick said...

Old and harmless and entertaining? Take away the crack and you've got a swinging retirement home.

Damn I'm witty today for somebody so damn miserable!

Your writing is so great. Thanks for the smile!

Life, or Something Like It said...

Thanx for the props. I have to laugh or I'll cry. Honestly tho, you should have seen it. It was like God smiling down on me. And like I said, my driveway has been crack head free for nearly 2 days now. Glad it made you smile, that's what I was going for.....

CindyDianne said...

I must have lived, have always lived, a sheltered life. I have never lived close to a crack house. I have never seen illegal drugs. I don't have any "this one time while wasted" stories. I have no stories about getting picked up by the cops. So, I hate it that you and your family are exposed...but I cannot relate. Not even a little bit.

Basically, I got nothin'.

Life, or Something Like It said...

Like I said,I love my little house.I do. It just seems like drugs are everywhere now. The old guys next door are pretty harmless.Too old to cause any real trouble. Somebody made the mistake of parking in our driveway while Hubby was out watering the lawn.
That was the 1st mistake. the 2nd mistake was leaving his windows down. I saw the trail of water going from my driveway and onto the street after he drove away. I don't think that he'll be back.

jihadpunk said...

sounds a bit like my neighbourhood 'cept it's England 'n we haven't a crack house...I don't think