Wednesday, September 13, 2006

***Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handy***

Sometimes, I think that I would be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

If you ever catch on fire try to avoid looking in the mirror, because I bet that would really throw you into a panic.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he gets a good, lucky feeling.

It takes abig man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

I think in one of my past lives, I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.

I saw on this nature show the male elk douses himself in urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

14 comments:

CindyDianne said...

It's apparently a day for deep thoughts and sage advice!

I liked the "it takes an even bigger man to laugh at him" one. Ha ha ha!

Thanks Biddie!

Life, or Something Like It said...

I love Jack Handy. He is such a jerk,and says things that I could NEVER say to most people....

Heidi the Hick said...

I missed ol Jack!

Do you remember "My Big Fat Novel"?

(I wrote that on the 3 ring binder in which I keep my first completed novel...)

gawilli said...

"I think in one of my past lives, I was a mighty king (queen), because I like people to do what I say." Boy, I can relate to this one. Oops.

Life, or Something Like It said...

Heidi - I miss Jack, too...

gawilli - That was one of my fav's, too, mostly because I can relate..

Nonny said...

I actually have all of Jack's books. They are basically just complilations of those skits. But still hold up after repeated readings. It's a great bathroom book, if you're the kind of person who reads in the bathroom.

Nonny said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Life, or Something Like It said...

nonny - I absolutely read in the bathroom! where else do you get any privacy? I didn't know that he had his own books. They would make a great Christmas gift.

JJ said...

OMGosh I've never seen these ones before...very funny.

Be sure to take pics of your Halloween doggies. LOL

Shane said...

I love the one where he is talking about how everyone would laugh when grandpa would say he was going to town looking for a woman, but no one was laughing when he brought home a cheap hooker!

Life, or Something Like It said...

jj - I will. I might have a photo of Poodle somewhere ( yes, that was her name ) mugging for the camera.

Shane - Isn't Jack Handey the best? I never heard the hooker one before..

FOUR DINNERS said...

I deny being an elk

Pioneer Woman said...

My favorite was, "When I was a boy, I asked my dad, 'Dad, why is it raining?' My dad replied, 'Because God is crying'. I asked, 'Why is God crying?'. He answered, 'Probably because of something you did.'"

Harsh!

Life, or Something Like It said...

Hi, ree! Thanks for stopping by! That quote is one of my favourites, too.