Tuesday, October 02, 2007

It's 11 pm, and I have been home about 15 minutes. The first thing that I did was read all of the comments that everyone left for me. Then, I read Heidi's blog. Then, I cried.

I am trying like hell to hold it together for Jessica, and the rest of the family. I leave her room when I need to cry, and I try not to show how upset I am. She is still upset about missing school, and I wonder if she realizes just how close she actually came to dying. The doctors words to me yesterday were "If we don't admit her today, she will die." I keep replaying that moment in my head.

She looks better today, and even though her kidneys are damaged, I think that we caught the problem just in time. Her cheeks are already rosier, and she wants to go home. It's going to be a little while yet. Her blood sugars are still all over the place. She had a very low bg last night at 2 am. Her insulin needs to be adjusted, and alll of the kinks need to be worked out.

Thank you so much for all your kind words. THANK YOU. I can not tell you how much it means to me. I don't have a super supportive family (in town) and I have been feeling very much alone. Tonight, I feel like a part of a family.
Thank you.

16 comments:

dilling said...

Be brave...we're all here if you need us...

her indoors said...

love you Biddie, wish i was nearer, so glad she is improving hugs and kisses girl and lots of them

terry said...

biddie, i'm a little late, but just read heidi's post.

as i said to her, i'm not a prayer, but i'm sending positive thoughts your way.

hang in there... (as lame as that sounds).

Marni said...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Heidi the Hick said...

You're not alone. Please remember that.

CindyDianne said...

We are here for moral support, that is our job! We are a blog family!

I am so glad she is doing a little better.

~JJ! said...

She's already healing! Wonderful news.

I hope while she's at the hospital, they will educate her on how to maintain her blood sugars and take care of her body the way it needs to be taken care of...

We should all get that lesson.

I send you love.

Tod said...

That is good news that she is improving so fast. I was thinking about her a lot today...phew! Now you need to take care of yourself too and stop beating yourself up!

Bunny said...

(HUGS)

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

omg, where have I been? Biddie, my prayers with you, honey. For you and your daughter!

Always yours,
Jas...

Phoenix5 said...

Isn't it wonderful how resilient a young child's body can be? Only one day in the hospital and she is already improving. That's great news, Biddie! It will take some time for the insulin levels to even out, so don't worry too much. The best thing is, she's where she can be monitored and cared for 24/7 if need be. The fact that she is upset about missing school shows you have raised her well!

My prayers are still with you both.

Heidi the Hick said...

UPDATE

Bid called me from the hospital at 2 pm. She'd "checked Jessica out like a library book" which I thought was kind of cute, and they were sitting outside in the sunshine. Jess is bored silly which is good because extremely sick kids don't feel bored.

The not so good news is that her blood sugar numbers are still very erratic. The numbers fluctuate between dangerously high and dangerously low. She won't be going home until that evens out.

Other than that there isn't much news, but I feel a bit better knowing that the kid's not suffering.

It means a lot to Bridget that you all care so much and have sent so much prayer and positivity her way. Please keep this family in your thoughts. It's been years of struggle to get this disease under control. Biddie is really feeling the stress.

But the most important thing is that this beautiful blonde kid is smirking and poking her mother in the arm when she's not looking. She feels okay. Chins up.

Burfica said...

excellent news that she is responsive and doing better.

Big hugggsss sent to you both.

I hope they can figure out what exactly is wrong and get it leveled out the right way!!!

You all are in my prayers.

witchypoo said...

Just dropped by to send some Canuck style love your way.
You will need all of your coping abilities for this. I hope you will try to find a way to resume your meds. She needs you.
Much love.

Babzy said...

I'm another Canuck wishing Jessica, you, and your family well. One of your blog friends said something about it being our job to support our blog family. I love that.

Canadian flake said...

I am so glad to hear she is doing better hon. This is terrible but is NOT your fault. Hang in there and remember when you get feeling low that we are all here thinking of you and praying for you...prayer is powerful and she will be home soon. Keep the faith hon!!!