Thursday, June 15, 2006

Birthday Blues


My 37th birthday is quickly approaching,and I'm not sure how I feel about it.The truth is, I'm looking at my 30's through a rearview mirror.I didn't do ANY of the cool things that I once dreamed of doing.I didn't meet my teen obsession,Christopher Atkins.I didn't backpack around Europe,or become the journalist that I always imagined myself becoming.
I got married at 20-seperated at 23.I walked the aisle again at the age of 27.That went bust before I was 31.You would think that would sour me on marriage.Not at all.I am planning another wedding, maybe this summer.
I've got 3 great kids.I raised them mostly on my own, and sometimes, it sucked.All I remember are the good times.The first time my girls said'I love you',or the Mother's Day card from myy then 12 year old daughter, that still makes me cry.There was my middle daughters grade 8 graduation,just last year.Yup, I cried.My littlest one cut her own hair-2 days before her 1st Communion.You should see the photos of that day.
I worked at the city morgue for a short time, helping with autopsies.No experience needed,just a willingness to work hard- and a strong stomach.
The friends that I've found along the way have been incredible.I went back to school at 34, and graduated with honours, 2nd in my class.
As I look back on my life, the good and the bad, I realize something.Who I am is nothing close to what I imagined in my youth.
It's better.