I have been preoccupied these past few days.My mother is in town.Maybe you didn't hear me....I said "my Mum is in town."
She's here for the funeral of her sister, my Aunt."Betty" and I haven't spoken in 4 years, I don't even know where she lives.Somewhere out East, near a lake, in her dream house, is what I've been told.I haven't seen her yet, the service is on Friday.I know that she's out there, somwhere, waiting.I 'm terrified of running into her at Sobeys, or Wal-Mart,or a Tim Hortons.What will I say?What if she pretends not to see me, or worse, tries to hug me?Do I hug her back?
I hate this, the feeling that I get deep down inside.The feeling of dread, the sweeping nausea that envelopes me when I think of her.How did we get here?How did this happen? I could point fingers, but I guess that the how and why don't matter as much as the hurt.
Doesn't Betty miss her youngest?Doesn't she think of her 3 grandkids?The last time that she spoke to any of us, KC was starting high school.She graduates in a couple of days.
I wish that I could bridge the gap, take back the last 15 years or so, make things relatively normal.Lucky says that her magic wand is broken.She should know.She's got her own stuff going on that I wish that I could fix for her.
Sigh.......Where do we go from here?I guess that the only answer is to the funeral on Friday.Wish me luck.I have a feeling that I 'll need it.
2 comments:
I can't see any resemblance between Josie and Betty. maybe because Josie knew how to SMILE.
Take a deep breath, my dear. Go pay your respects. I'm praying for you.
Always remember that you are a better mother than she was. I know it don't take much, but it's true. Your daughters actually like you. (Most of the time, ha ha ha! )
I don't think you need luck. I don't think she'll start anything because people would freak out that she pulled a stunt. No one's going to put up with her stuff.
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