Monday, June 26, 2006

Things my Mother Taught Me

Well...I don't even know where to start today.Friday was such an incredible day,unbelievable,really.
My aunts memorial service was pretty much what I expected...stoney silence from my Mum,crying relatives,and many fond memories of the best aunt a kid could ever ask for.
When my little family and I arrived, the first head that we saw was....Betty.She barely acknowleged our presence,nodding slightly and then turning away.
Man.It really stung, I gotta tell you.Everyone else hugged,consoled,and reminiced with us.Not Betty.She glared across the room at me,and watched my every move,not even reaching out to her granddaughters.This went on for over an hour.
After the service, there were refreshments in another part of the home, set up with photos of Josie over the years.Betty set herself beside the dessert table with my stepfather.Honestly.They took two chairs and parked their asses right there.Awkward much.I couldn't avoid them.I needed coffee-bad.All 7 of the remaining sisters did their best to convince Betty to comfort her youngest.
Finally after my 18 year old telling her Nanie to grow up,I went to Betty.
I did. I told her that it was time to start over,that I loved her, that we've wasted too much time.Long story short?Betty wentt home on Sunday without another word to me, even though today is my birthday.
I don't know what I expected.What I didn't expect was for me to feel worse.Why do I let her get to me?When will it get better?What if it doesn't?
An unexpected bonus was the afternoon spent with my extended family,aunts,uncles,cousins, and dogs.
My aunt Molly came from Cape Breton.She entertained us with stories of her travels on the train,and the locals back home.My favourite story was the one about the visitor to aunt Molly's house that didn't speak a word until he started to drink.Then "it was like he was vaccinated with a gramophone needle."It was great fun.I don't remember the last time that I laughed that hard.It felt so good that I nearly forgot my own Mum was standing beside me,pretending that I wasn't even there.
Saturday was a much happier occasion.I decided to forgo the party that I had planned,and opted instead for a quiet evening with my dearest friends.We sat in my backyard,discussing everything from TMOC to Betty,kids and recitals,to our highschool days.For the second time in as many days,I laughed.Alot.
Even though I 'm missing my aunt,hurt by my Mum,and yearning for a place in the extended family, I gained a realization,maybe even some inner peace.I have MY family,TMOC and Lucky, and two of the best friends in the entire universe.
I guess that it's been a preety good 37th birthday afterall.

1 comment:

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh, I am so glad you're writing again. Turn on your comments- I wanna see who else is reading this!