Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I am drinking. No, I am not drunk yet, but I am on my way. Why not? It's New Years Eve, and I have had a bad week.

We had to leave our baby at the hospital, and then we came home to Ruby, Porky, and our little house guest, The Pug. Ruby is thrilled to bits, and they have barely sat still. Kayla thinks that she will have a peaceful night with the two dogs in her room with her. LMAO!

Yeah, right.

So, anyway, this is really more of a vent or a rant than an actual post. Sorry.

I am so tired of people that are not involved in my life telling me (or my kids) what it is that I am doing wrong.

KC had someone tell her today WHY Jessie is sick.

Oh, THANK GOD! Thank you, your excellencey. We were all wondering why.

Acorrding to this person, if I did not feed Jessica so much SUGAR, she would be fine.

Never mind that this person has not seen her in about 2 years. Oh yeah, and this person also told KC that you don't do carb counting. That is WRONG.

Whew. Thank GOD that this person has it all figured out. I was getting worried!

Ok, asshat. Let me set you straight.

We count CARBS. That means that Jessie gets a certain amount of insulin according to her bg and the carbs that she is taking in with each meal/snack.

Jessica has had nearly perfect blood sugars since her last hospital visit. Even at home. Her blood sugar is better than ever, so that is not the issue.

I am not perfect, but PLEASE, give me the benefit of the doubt. I am not a bad mom. I take good care of my baby. We do not have a lot of money, but I do the best that I can. I am tired of being judged by someone that has never had any real hardship.

In fact, asshat, PISS off. I have done ok without you. Keep your opinions to yourself. Jessie needs people in her corner that care for her, not negative crap to bring her down.

In completely unrelated news - I can no longer feel my lips.

Just sayin.

Ok. well. that feels better.
In all honesty, I have been crying alot. I am worried sick about my little girl. I wish that I had a family to help, or lean on. I wish that my Dad were here, because things really would be different. I wish that she had a bio dad that gave two shits about her.
I am tired. I am scared. I know that God is listening, but is He really HEARING me? I just want my little girl home. I want my family whole again. My WHOLE family to be whole again.
Ok. I am gonna go. It is ..OMG after 2 am and I need to be at the hospital early.


Anonymous said...

Biddie, yes He hears you. You're not alone. You're a great Mom. I don't know you but I can tell by your posts. Take care of yourself and have a happy new year with your family.

Camie Vog said...

Oh, my... I miss read the last post. I thought she was home. I had a willey Beanie tearing through the computer room as I was reading, that's why I missed the ending.

Please send her our love and support! I am sure He is hearing, too. It is just another of those strenuous life lessons that must be conquered.

Happy New Year from your adoptive family just over the border!

Tod said...

You know you are a good mother and so do your kids. And when your lips get back their feeling you can tell any one else to sod off!

katy said...

tell the asshat to piss off and if they ever bother you again tell them they will have me to deal with.
damn right you are a good mother, no wait you are a bloody great mum, full of love and care for your girls.
so sorry you have had a bad time of late and really wishing and praying for you and you girls and Shawn for a better year this year.
love and hugs to you all x
ps my teeth go numb when I am pissed!!!!!!!

rain said...

biddie, I hope that 2008 brings your family rest and health and happiness and a lack of asshats!!

Palm Springs Savant said...

Biddie- its good that you got that off your chest, so to speak. I'm glad you took some time to yourself last night, you needed it after the past couple of weeks.


You're a good mum 'cause you love her. That's all it takes. When she's older she'll remember her mum loved her and that'll be all she needs to know.

Hope 2008 turns out great for you babe x

captain corky said...

There's no doubt in my mind that you're a good mom. Your kids are great! Fuck whoever said that shit, Biddie. You deserve a good 08!

PS I didn't have anything last night. I slept through New Years.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

You are an excellent mom and that asshat can kiss my ass. You want me to come beat them up for you?

I hope you have a great New Year. If anyone deserves it, it is you and your family. (((HUGS)))

Gardenia said...

Oh dear heart, I wish I could say something to help....I know you would do ANYTHING to end this disease if it were in your power. Sometimes people don't understand when dealing with a chronic disease - you can't heal it with food rules. I had that with the Crohns - so many said if only I would........makes ya feel downright condemned sometimes. Of course carbs convert to sugars down the road, where did asshat get his/hers? medical degree?

There has been a really rough flu going around, and with a chronic condition on top of it, it is a double whammy to the system.

Why won't doctors listen to the people who are around the patient daily? Duh.

So, ignore, keep your eyes on your family, rant when ya have to, and keep on keeping on. One foot in front ta the other, and again, and again, and again.

Here's to better days in this new year.

Phoenix5 said...

Right on, Biddie! It drives me nuts when someone waltzes in knowing nothing about your situation and has the gall to sound off like a "know-it-all".

Glad to see you writing that you're "not a bad mom"... means our comments have payed off in spades! ;-)

All the best to you all.

Canadian flake said...

Hang tough hon...please know there are a lot of us here praying for y'all...and give that asswipe a kick for me too please...lol.