Sunday, January 27, 2008


Thanks for all of the e mails and comments. My bi polar has gotten the best of me lately, and I am struggling to do the day to day stuff - even bathing has been a chore. I see my shrink on February 7th, and I am just trying to hang in until then.
I have court on Tuesday, with KC and Shawn. This should be interesting. We have all been subpoenaed to give evidence in the robbery assault that happened in December 2006. (Shawn and KC were assaulted and robbed by a cabbie). On my best days I can't talk in front of strangers, in a crowded room. I have no idea how I am going to handle this. I am not coping well right now, and I am afraid of having a full blown panic attack in the court room. (Ok, deep breaths.....) If I feel myself going down, I'm gonna scream 'It's The Big One !'
I will, I swear.
I am nothing of not entertaining.
Jessica is feeling better, and her weight has held steady at a mighty 94 lbs. I am buying a blender asap and making that kid shakes. She needs to pack the weight on (and no, we can't donate any..I already asked) so that the next time she gets a little flu bug, she doesn't fold like a K-Mart lawn chair. We have enough of that for the time being.
Shawn has promised to take me out this afternoon, so I should get my butt in gear. It is cold out, and we are soo close to broke, but I NEED to get out for awhile. It might take my mind off of the ordeal that awaits us on Tuesday.
Thanks for waiting for me. I'll be back soon.
Biddie

31 comments:

Chellie said...

I am the very same way. When I had to go to court for my divorce settlement, I had THE WORST panic attack waiting in the hallway, but ya know what? Most of the panic is anticipatory. Once I got in there, it was okay. Not fun, but I managed. I had also worked out with my attorney that if I needed to step out of the courtroom that she would explain to the judge why and all would be fine. Give yourself some "outs" and things will feel easier!

Phoenix5 said...

Were you in the cab too? If not, then why are you having to testify? Chellie has a good sugestion, talk to your lawyer about your worries. I'm sure the lawyer has seen all kinds of stuff like that and knows how to deal with it.

Glad to hear about Jess keeping her weight steady.

I hope you have a good weekend and a wonderful time out. You deserve it! (((((HUGS)))))

Biddie said...

chellie - I think that I will have a word with the Crown Attorney. (Same as DA?) It really couldn't hurt any. An 'out' maybe be just what I need. I know that you are probably about the panic being all in the anticaption of this...Probably :)

pheonix - Actually, the Crown is pursuing the charges, so I haven't even met her yet. (just spoke with her on the phone briefly). I have to give my account of what happened for several reasons..It was me that phoned the cab company and ultimately the region to report the incident, KC phoned me, frantic, from the scene, and I have to testify about how Shawn looked when he came home (the spit on his jacket) and about upset KC after all of this. Shawn and KC are talking about the incident itself...
So...either way, I was subpoenaed, so I have to go...
We went to the cheap theater and saw Cloverfield. It was a nice afternoon out. :)

dilling said...

it's been quiet all over lately...

Heidi the Hick said...

I dunno, this post sounds to me like you're back ON, BABY!

Fold like a Kmart lawn chair???? It's The Big One????

Uh huh.

Isn't it awful how panic attacks can be brought on by fear of panic attacks? I don't really have that so much as just that deer in the headlights kind of panic. Just remember to breath. I once had to go to court for something I did not want to talk about and I hope I never have to do that again.

Hang on. Pshrink day is coming soon. And let's just stop saying crazy like it's a BAD thing!

xo

Biddie said...

dilling - You're right. It has been quiet...I hope that everyone is coming back soon.

heidi - Back on? LOL. Even in the throws of depression, I still have my moments.
I have been to court too many times to count. Mostly for custody/support/divorce crap, but still, too many. I wish that I didn't have to do this, but this guy needs to know that what he did was SO wrong.
Some of my panic attacks are brought on by memories. I think that when I see my shrink again, I have to really deal with the issues.
SIGH.

Heidi the Hick said...

I hate dealing with issues. Just when you think you're done...

aaarrgghhhh

But the alternative? Not dealing? Way f***ing worse.

xo

(g'nite)

Biddie said...

heidi - There are two issues in particular that I think I need to deal with. One is something that happened 18 years ago next month,and another is something that I have been carrying around with me for 20 + years.
I hate it, but it's time.
Not dealing IS way worse.
You are so wise.

Burfica said...

awww of course I'll stick with ya. I'm always lurking and keeping you in my thoughts.

My mother got subpoenaed on a case and with her dissabilities, they let her give a deposition over the phone. Speaker phone in chambers. I dunno if you can look into that or not. But I'll pray for a good day, and good luck with it.

Biddie said...

burfica - That is great idea, too. I have to meet with the Crown early tomorrow, about an hour before the case. I think that she will tell me that I should just stay...The problem is, I LOOK normal(ish), you know? People don't look at me and see someone that they consider to have disabilities.
I think that I am going to talk to her, tho. I am so wound up about this that I didn't even sleep last night. LAST night. Yikes. I have another one to go.

katy said...

glad you had some time out of the house. Good to hear that Jessica is putting on some weight.
Take a paper bag with you into the court and if you have a panic attack breathe in and out into the bag, it might just help, worth a try.
not long till the 7th just keep saying it,s not long till the 7th.
take care Biddie x

Canadian flake said...

Hang in there honey...I will be praying hard for you. Hope things go well on Tuesday for all of you.

(((hugs)))

Biddie said...

katy - Not long till the 7th, not long till the 7th...It really isn't that long now, but I will keep reminding myself. :)

canadain flake - I'll take the prayers. Couldn't hurt. I'm sure that things will be fine, but still, I'll take the prayers.

captain corky said...

Sorry that you have to go to court. That really sucks! I hate courts and lawyers and all that stuff. A lot of my friends are actually lawyers but, I just pretend they're football players and strippers. That way I won't hate them. ;)

Hang in there Biddie! I'm always around.

Biddie said...

corky - LOL. Maybe I should pretend with some people. :)
I am ok about GOING to court..It is just up the street, and we can walk. ( I haven't been there since the Cheese Incident of 2006)
I am sweating bullets at the thought of talking in front of people. Also, I have no idea what to wear. Might not stress you out, but I only own one pair of dress pants, and since I smashed my ankle so many times, wearing dress shoes is torture. Can't wear my Converse with dress pants, soooooo...
See how my mind works? NO wonder I'm tired all of the time.

CindyDianne said...

I've been lurking around Bridget, but I've had so few words...

My thoughts, however, are with you!

{{Much Love}}

Biddie said...

cindydianne - Thanks :)

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

(((HUGS)))

I'm so sorry things aren't going well for you. I hope getting out helped.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Biddie said...

whim - Getting out always helps. :)
Things are better for US, as a couple and as a family. Shawn has just gone back to work after a 7 week lay off, and Jessie is doing well. So, all in all? It's good.
I just have to get ME in a good place. Counting the days until the 7th........

Tod said...

Good luck with the court thing. You know when you mistook me for your lawyer the other day, well I'd happily come along and shout foul mouthed swear words at everyone that stood in our way ;)

Biddie said...

Tod - LOL. Thank you. I knew that I could count on you :)
I was going to ask the other Tod about the coming events. He isn't going to be there, but he always helps me out with free adivce.
Like I said, still laughing :)

Biddie said...

Oh, and Tod? I'm not sure if shouting foul mouthed swear words would actually HELP, but it would make me laugh.

Gardenia said...

I will say a prayer for you tonight. I had no idea panic could be so debilitating until I experienced it as well. Let us know how it goes.

Biddie said...

gardenia - Thank you :) I will take all of the prayers that I can get.

Anonymous said...

Hello,

When ever I surf on web I come to this website[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url]Lots of good information here wwwbiddiegirlca.blogspot.com. I am sure due to busy scedules we really do not get time to care about our health. Here is a fact for you. Research displays that almost 90% of all United States adults are either chubby or weighty[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url] Hence if you're one of these individuals, you're not alone. Its true that we all can't be like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, and have sexy and perfect six pack abs. Now next question is how you can achive quick weight loss? Quick weight loss can be achived with little effort. If you improve some of your daily diet habbits then, its like piece of cake to quickly lose weight.

About me: I am blogger of [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips]Quick weight loss tips[/url]. I am also health expert who can help you lose weight quickly. If you do not want to go under painful training program than you may also try [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/acai-berry-for-quick-weight-loss]Acai Berry[/url] or [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/colon-cleanse-for-weight-loss]Colon Cleansing[/url] for fast weight loss.

Anonymous said...

Hello,

Do you guys watch movies in theater or on internet? I use to rent DVD movies from [b]Netflix.com[/b]. Recently I discovered that we can watch all new movies on internet on day, they are released. So why should I spend money on renting movies??? So, can you guys please tell me where I can [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]watch latest movie The Toxic Avenger 2010[/url] for free?? I have searched [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]Youtube.com[/url], [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]Dailymotion.com[/url], [url=http://www.watchhotmoviesfree.com]Megavideo.com[/url] but, Could not find a good working link. If you know any working link please share it with me.


Thanks

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonwalletsmarket.com/]louis vuitton purses[/url][/b] Having said that, there are plenty of replicas and pretend designer goods to the industry nowadays. You will be an intelligent shopper and learn how to place pretend objects when browsing for luxury products. Read more to see some straightforward strategies to buy genuine designer purses..

[b][url=http://www.lovelouisvuittonbags.co.uk/]louis vuittoun outlet[/url][/b] You on no account obtain bogus mentor purses at the mentor outlet maintain. The above mentioned talked about advantages make mentor outlet only one from the most treasured position that adult men and girls need to go. All these, rather defective, goods arrived at mentor clearance sustain for phony sale manufactured.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonwalletsmarket.com/]louis vuitton purses[/url][/b] I must admit that i am preparing many minor areas such as this on our new house. This manner you will discover selections to suit the mood or meditation for the day. An abundance of eco-friendly crops may help to make a relaxing ambiance. With all the short-lived meter, there may be undoubtedly necessity to quest for so as to professionals in operation providing medication. Many schools arrived up with MBA degrees hooked up in order to positive training authorities. Submit an application for the degree as well as require up any specialisation of one's decision.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonwalletsmarket.com/]louis vuitton purses[/url][/b] You are able to store on line . It truly is about celebrating your love for every other facing your family and buddies. Even so, the reality is pretty diverse from your information. This will only pressure the acrylic even more more inside the material of one's shoe. Rather, make use of a portion Louis Vuitton Eyewear Evidence mild chalk and scratch some chalk pull out the chalk in addition to the kick out. Unusual footwear or boots could possibly be determined to Louis Vuitton Boots and footwear For Youthful Girls 2010 deliver proficiently by utilizing a selected stretching out pieces that is definitely protected about acceptable wash rag Louis Vuitton Sunglasses For guys.

[b][url=http://www.lovelouisvuittonbags.co.uk/]louis vuittoun outlet[/url][/b] A little whilst might be greatest thrown away becoming common with all the market sector pores and skin scales present with punk sport. three. Actively playing the guitar endeavour know-how converts beyond harmony. This can be how Vonage does it, and AT 's CallVantage is going to be accomplishing it. The ATA is no cost with their providers. And using an ATA is so simple that everyone can do it.

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonpursesale.com/]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] Before the shift, knowledge the joy of Wing Clipping just one far more time. Feather clipping hardly ever is effective the 1st time. No-one is aware why. When you had solutions to these question inside the kind of larger than or lessen than you happen to be with a ladder to nowhere rapidly. To map your house on this earth, know in which you stand, you always measure by the use of kind of than everything you feel to become the perfect, the product of who you 'should' be. From this vantage position you can also make feeling of the world.

[b][url=http://www.seekingbestbags.co.uk/]louis vuitton purses[/url][/b] The solutions needn't be extensive and drawn out. You can offer you a simplified remedy and direct your site visitors to some very helpful means or maybe some affiliate websites that you're marketing. So there is certainly a nice thought…technically, it is possible to earn some more money on-line answering some typically questioned concerns..

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonpursesale.com/]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] Designed from web-based know-how, blogs (quick for website log) motivate second get together conversation from a distinct audience on certain topics. Many individuals imagine of blogs as belief message boards but you'll find legitimate organization purposes too. No matter whether you use it to communicate internally to your possess workers or externally towards your clientele, weblogs create another arena for sharing details and soliciting responses.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonvipstore.co.uk/]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] Amongst police together a wide selection of detailed hunt from James , but right until now however couldn't obtain a crafty James . Police lookup proceeds ,polo huge pony, they examine James,chaussure foot, probably still in handcuffs , is probably going to generally be hid in Arlington acquaintances at home . The compiler Cao Lina ralph lauren British ninety -year-old woman fell in love along with the 73-year- previous guy m armani france Lady killed by their dad and mom and mutilated bodies suspended dying Abercrombie france Ladies fraud Lien daughter billi.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonpursesale.com/]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] Building multiple sources of website traffic is significant because some origins might not deliver website visitors who will be as responsive as other individuals. Alongside these lines additionally, you will have resources these kinds of as cultural web sites that may not make a large portion of repeat site visitors. Remember no supply is going to be permanent that is why your repeated updating is so critical..

Anonymous said...

Is that can rapidly bilk a smoking carriage who is addicted. [url=http://www.toptene-cigs.co.uk]e cigs[/url] www.toptene-cigs.co.uk You Own to Recognise the day, it volition become easier and easier to Simply do with-out cigarettes for yearner and yearner periods of multiplication. http://www.toptene-cigs.co.uk

Anonymous said...

You could finance your entire instant desires with the accessibility of this finance [url=http://www.vsxbu.co.uk/]quick loans[/url] short term loans uk That's why this payday loan has started to become popular day-to-day in the world http://www.vsxbu.co.uk/

Anonymous said...

http://www.lifequotestolive.com/cute/link/326 http://www.snafu.co/profile/tiaclouse http://test.tviou.com/profile-19461/info/ http://konoden.byethost4.com/index.php?option=com_blog&view=comments&pid=28566&Itemid=0 http://circles.tysonhouse.org/activity/p/176819/ http://artax.karlin.mff.cuni.cz/~kaspj0am/doku.php?id=profile_ralfmcfall http://srealm.imageofreflection.com/groups/design-residence-valentino-provides-layed-out-personnel-rolling-around-in-its-nyc-business-depending/members/ http://nord-afisha.ru/node/817 http://toroweap.asu.edu/wiki/index.php/User:CynthiaDo http://basil-ell.de/mediawiki/mediawiki-1.15.0/index.php5?title=User:JoniCanad http://www.afede.es/educa/blog/index.php?userid=453 http://218.18.106.218/groups/public/wiki/f3ce5c/Style_property_Valentino_has_got_layed_off_of_workforce_rolling_around_in_its_New_york_city_Place_of_work_in_accordance_with_innovative_storiesThis_downsizing_were_held_last_week_limiting_the_A_personS_infrastructure_to_get_page_rank_plus_menverts_have_on_stories_WWD_Talk_about_this_specific_ArticleReportedly_Movie_director_regarding_sales_and_marketing_communications_Garine_Zerounian_was_initially_released_in_spite_of_conspiring_together_Valentinos_and_also_Mirielle_Missonis_YouS_marketing_and_sales_communicationsYour_ex_job_can_slide_to_help_Judy_Bassaly_senior_boss_of_advertising_when_Mens_deal_home_Stan_Jacobsen_with_his_fantastic_asst_were_definitely_as_well_laid_offAssociated_with_the_shop_team_finalized_your_axed_quantities_despite_the_fact_that_allegedly_cell_phone_calls_for_you_to_Valentinoazines_Big_apple_workplace_travelled_un_answered_on_Saturday.html http://fifthcolumn.ru/index.php/%D0%A3%D1%87%D0%B0%D1%81%D1%82%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%BA:KaiKBE http://www.no-milk-today.de/index.php?title=Benutzer:NumbersHo http://avto-ger.ru/?q=content/vogue-home-valentino-has-layed-down-team-new-york-city-place-work-outlined-brand-new http://www.crowdsourcingnetwork.it/mediawiki/index.php/Utente:IsabellDa http://etest.ninhao.com/learn-mandarin-Chinese/blog/manner-place-valentino-includes-layed-away-personnel-rolling-around-its- http://51trip.net/groups/manner-place-valentino-possesses-layed-down-workforce-in-their-los-angeles-workplace-depending-on-fresh-accounts-a-downsizing-were-held-yesterday-lowering-their-oughout-s-facilities-designed-for-pa/ http://rupp.edu.kh/moodle/user/view.php?id=7894&course=1 http://llollz.com/user/EllisBurch