Thursday, October 05, 2006
It's That Time of Year Again....
Yup, it's here. The time of year that I so dread. Not autumn, or back to school, or Thanksgiving. No, what I'm talking about is .... OKTOBERFEST.
Never heard of it? This is what it boils down to. Oktoberfest runs for about 10 days, always the weekend of the Canadian Thanksgiving. We have a huge influx of tourists, infact, this is our tourist season. Many years ago, it was the celebration of the harvest - after the actual harvesting was done, of course. Now, it has come down to this: Beer, music, shnitzel, saur kraut, and sausage. This means that the buses will be over crowded, the hotels/motels will be all booked up, and drunken idiots will be wandering the streets. What fun!
But wait, there's more! We also have a parade. Yup, complete with Onkle Hans, the big, orange headed mascot. Then there's the Miss Oktoberfest pagent. Oh, yeah, I'm for real, here folks. Ladies come from all over the world to vie for the honour. No, I'm not kidding. I wish that I was.
I hate it.
I don't drink beer. I don't listen to polka music, and I refuse to do the Chicken dance. I refuse.
And Onkle Hans? He scares the sh*t ouuta me.
I might go to the parade. It is just outside my door. I might even go to the tapping of the keg - the official start of Oktoberfest. Could be interesting. One year, a guy threw a pie in the face of the keg tapper...It might have been the Premiere of Ontario, I forget. I might even ride the bus late at night for free. (They do this to keep the drunks from driving). Sometimes, they have a laser light show downtown. About 2 blocks away from where we live.
I won't wear the red or green hats. They look like Peter Pan's hat, but they have a white or yellow feather tucked in the band. For an extra few $ you can buy a HUGE feather that you are guaranteed to lose before the festivities are over.
Yeah, I might check out some of the free stuff.
I will NOT however, enjoy myself of have fun. You have my word on it.