Thursday, July 20, 2006

I DO?


It didn't take long for the questions to start after K.C. was born. You know the one - when are you getting married? It did seem like the natural progression of things. Well the NATURAL progression would have been wedding then baby, but you get what I'm saying.
I was only going to be 20, and I knew that I didn't love Randi enough to spend the rest of my life with him, but I felt...pressured, like I had no other options. Randi wasn't very nice to me most of the time. He called me fat, he went out with his buddies but not with me. He spent most of his spare time away fromus, his little family. I don't exactly why I agreed to marry him. Maybe I felt like I owed it to our daughter to make it work. Maybe there was so much pressure on me to do the right thing. Maybe, I didn't know what else to do.
We set a date for August 5th, 1989. The planning was more tedious than fun. Randi's mom was more concerned with the menu than anything else. My parents gave me a play-by-play of every detail. My Dad and Mom were paying for the meal and the drinks at their house afterwards. Every conversation with my Dad opened with a dollar amount. I wanted to scream "I don't want to marry Randi" at the top of my lungs. I wanted to run away,I wanted my Dad to make everything better. I knew that he was only Mr. Right Now, but I was too young and immature to put a stop to the madness.
So, on August 5th, 1989, I became Mrs.Randi.
I cried as I walked down the aisle. I heard whispers of 'that's so beautiful'. If only they knew the truth. I was crying because I knew that I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
We didn't really have a honeymoon. We went to a little motel near my hometown.I had never been to one before. I don't think that we even made love ( loose term ) that night, because Randi was too drunk. Maybe
if I had been drinking things would have been different.
We were only married one week the first time that he hit me.
Yup. The honeymoon was over.

6 comments:

Heidi the Hick said...

It always amazes me how well a woman can hide the truth. Looking at that photo, it's just a sweet looking wedding picture. I didn't know any different.

Life, or Something Like It said...

Don't sweat it. I hid the truth from everyone. There is so much shame associated with domestic violence. Randi was always very careful,too. I never had bruises on my face. How calculating is that? Anyway, there IS a happy ending to this story.......

Heidi the Hick said...

I'm so glad you're tellling this story.

dilling said...

Me, too...there are plenty of us out here who made a hasty trip down the aisle, too, stayed for all the wrong reasons...thankfully, some of us "grow" out of it, eh?

Anonymous said...

Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
»

Anonymous said...

Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»